Hey loyal readers! I have an ACTUAL live journal now, here!. I think that what I will do from time to time is post my "feeling" entries here, and more of a day to day entry over there. However, to save you the trouble of shifting back and forth, I will periodically copy all the entries that I wrote over there over here. I will make it date conscious, so that if I do a rant entry, i'll paste what has happened so far (since last entry) over here for you to read as well. I hope that made sense. I understand that this kind of loses the whole unique feeling aspect in this place, but not too much, i hope. I mean, if i had more time and easier updating formats, i'd prolly write the entries here instead. Okay, i'm rambling here. Also, the (**) are my comments on the entries.

November 20, 2005 - 4:03 am - Okay, today has been sort of a weird day. First thing is that I've gotten hoooked on turkey club sandwiches, (toasted, with mayo). I mean, holy crap, it's so freaking good. I've turned twenty one recently and it has sort of changed things. A couple of days before, i made a lot of friends that are in my building (paul, greg, jared). I must say, doing so has made life a bit more interesitng, at least in the whole not being bored department, and I've met a lot of people through them. On the day i turned twenty one, I bought a bottle of Pepe Lopez, tequila. I will vouch for this tequila, as it's a lot better than Jose Quervo, and a buttload of a lot smoother, not to mention a bit cheaper than quervo. So, I went to travis's (part 1 roommate at potsdam) gf's place to fix her computer around 4:30, which i always seem to end up doing for semi-random people. Anyways, I make travis have doubleshots with me. He got to about 4 doubles. THey went to do stuff and I wandered back to my dorm, where i proceeded to ask random peopel if they wanted to take doubles with me. Two guys said yes, and we took em togehter, which brings me up to 5 doubles. Paul called me and i decided to go to his room and drink more. We both did 3 doubles. There was only enough for a single for each of us, and then we finished the bottle. I had seventeen shots in the period of 2-3 hours. Horray. I actually didn't feel much of anything until around 14 ish. So, apparently, i fell out of my bed, which is four feet off the hard floor, and then proceeded to puke in a plastic bag that was hanging around the floor. Not all of the puke made it in. I woke up a couple of hours later because Greg came into the room to see how I was doing around midnight. I had a hangover, but i wasn't drunk anymore. I think i puked a lot of it up. While recooperating, I cleaned up my puke, as it was pretty nasty, and decided to puke again for some reason. After about an hour, i felt better, and decided to see what paul and greg were up to (since they lived in the same room). I just hung out with them for a while and met lindsay. She's pretty, and paul's trying to hook up with her. Respect. Yesterday, I bought a lot of alcohol for a variety of people, and I had a bottle of wine for myself. Well, half a bottle since I gave the other half away to a girl on my floor. Today, when I was playing some random playstation 2 games, lindsay knocked on my door and came in, basically half dressed. Wow. She had on some really short shorts and a tank top. She wanted me to get alcohol, and being the retardedly nice guy that i am, said yes. Of course, i didn't do anything. Once, because I suck. Second, because I respect paul. My roommate was in the room, as was a friend of his, and my friend was here too. It was an interesting sight. So, today, there was party on elm street, where a band was playing. Since lindsay and her friends were drunk, it was decided that i would be the designated driver and drive her car. Greg and paul wanted a ride, and so i went back to pick them up using her car. I was going to back to my room, mainly because i didn't feel like partying. If i did have beer, I'd prolly only do it to get drunk, cause the beer at the parties taste really bad. Greg only wanted to stay half an hour, and I decided to stay and listen to the music for a bit to see how it was. Eventually, i went home and was watching a movie. Later on, paul and them came back and I went outside to hang out with them for a bit since they wanted to smoke.I have been thinking about relationships and everything. I mean, what's the big deal? College seems to be filled with a variety of people, but there's always a certain group that basically party all the time. Sometimes, hooking up is in their agenda, sometimes it's just for getting massively drunk. I think that when you're underage, it seems that drinking is this highly fun thing to do, mainly because it's illegal. If you look at other countries, the amount of abuse on alcohol in the US probably surpasses almost any other. Alcohol is a pretty addictive substance, and I don't claim to dislike it. It seems to have lost some interest because of being 21 and all that. The bar scene isn't all that interesting, mainly because I can't dance, nor do i have enough confidence to fake it. What i end up doing in most parties is to be contently drunk and sit in the corner and watch girls and stuff go by. That is my most comfortable environment. Of course, it would be nice having a decent conversation with someone as well, but that's rarely something possible here. I think i've gotten lost in my thinking. I was originally going to comment about how relationships generally do not seem to have a very solid ground if it's formed in college. Then again, perhaps it's a viewpoint of an outsider. Sometimes, i feel it would be nice to form a relationship with someone here, but i'm leaving in a month or so. It wouldn't be fair to me or the girl. What do I want right now? I kind of just want the days to go by and not have to deal with anything. Either that, or let time stand still and not have to deal with anything. I think the whole not dealing with anything is the main point here. Sigh, i was kind of depressed when i wrote this, and now my mood has lifted since listening to jazz. Crazy thelonious.

November 1st, 2005 - 11:27 pm  - Horray. It's november, and what does that mean? Thanksgiving break. Wait, that's not that exciting. I forget, but i sort of enjoy november. Oh, that's right. THere's a cohiba esplendido that i've been saving for more than two years now that i will enjoy. That'll be awesome. SO, a fair amount has happened. I know i said i'd try to update on saturday, but given the fact that i suck at time frames, no updating has occured, until now. So, I got my ipod "fixed." Apple sent me this nifty box with stuff to put my ipod into as well as lots and lots of tape. I decided to put tape on random things in my dorm room. Apple just gave me a new ipod, or refurbed one. How do i know this? One day, i dropped my ipod while biking, and the back got scratched up really really bad (i almost shed one tear). The one they sent back doesn't have a scrachy back, and in fact, looks brand new. Why am I talking about my ipod so much, you ask dear reader? That ipod is my soul. If it died and stuff, my heart would crush. It holds my essense. I dunno, i just really like it, especially cause it was free. THe new one that is out looks awesome too, and benji's getting one. It has video capabilities. Grrr... So, I went to boston during my fall break. What did i do there? I hung out with alex, pete and maria. Since it was raining the whole time, there was sort of a limit on what we could do. We did go to an ethopian restaurant which rocked. It was an awesome atmosphere, and really interesting food. We had a common plate area where everyone kind of picked at everything with our hands. I'm probably not explaining this very well, but i'm too lazy. Figure out ethopian cuisine culture for yourself. The drive there and back was interesting. Driving there, i got to know two girls that i never really knew. I also drove the car part of the way. It was a manual, and the only trouble i have is the constant starting and stopping, like in a traffic jam. Guess what, we had a traffic jam. I stalled a fair amoutn, and then i gave up. I ahem got another disposable camera in boston was well, but it was an outdoor camera, which i didn't notice until too late. THere's no flash, so when i got the images back, more than half were pitch black. On the way back, the car's battery died at the parking lot where we left the car, so while we were waiting for one of the girl's aunt to come to us for a jump (which took an hour), i was walking around asking random people at the riverside station in boston if they had a jumper cable. Not akward at all. I got my pictures developed from both cameras, and i will EVENTUALLY scan them and post them online, just like i did my china pictues. OH WAIT, they're still not posted online. On sunday night, i blew up 48 white balloons and drew random things on em. I put them in the elevator early monday morning. It took until monday morning because I did a lot of a drawings on the balloons. I couldn't sleep sunday night, that's why i did it during that time. I also was planning this out for a little bit, which goes to show how bored i am over here. However, my prank fell short because on monday morning, the custodial staff cleaned it up as soon as they got there (around 7 am) so no one saw my awesome concept except this one girl, and probably the custodial staff. I think i'll do it again this friday, cause the custodial staff aren't in the dorms on the weekends. Currently, i'm also trying to update my other "LIVE JOURNAL". So, let's see how much i can do before i get tired and quit. (*i guess i DID copy and paste it all*)

October 29th, 2005 - 04:25 am - Well, it's really late. I haven't slept yet, nor can I, even though i feel tired. Know what I mean? Well, a fair amount has happened, but i just realized that i should sleep. I'll try to do an update tomorrow.

October 2nd, 2005 - 02:36 am - I'm slowly updating my website. It's going to take a while. Rochester pictures are up. http://www.thejollycompany.com/pictures/rochester/rochester.html

September 30th, 2005 - 12:30 am - Well now, i just saw a New York State Trooper walk across the hall to the other side of the dorms. A state trooper in the dorms. What's going on? I"m gonna check.

September 29th, 2005 - 09:39 pm - Hello! I'm designing a webpage for Alex. http://wasteland.thejollycompany.com

September 26th, 2005 - 11:54 am - (*now this is a worthy entry*) Here's the trip to canada that i'll never forget. Its starts slow but there's a twist :-P On saturday, eric with the funny last name came to visit me. Since there's like nothing to do here in potsdam, we decided to go on a trip to the land up north, eh. Ottawa was the closest big city near potsdam, only like 2 hrs away. Well, we got started, printed out a map and everything. However we started out on the wrong foot. We ended up in massena instead of odgensburg. We asked for directions and eventually got to the border. Right after we passed the border, we stopped at the visitors center where we got directions to ottawa. On the way out, eric noticed a hissing sound. The rear driver's side tire had a screw in it and was leaking out air. We found a walmart close by that did tire service, but they said it would take about an hour before it was our turn. The walmart was located at a plaza with a place that sort of remembles chilli's. What to do for an hour or so? Order a white russian, 2 pints of fosters and get drunk (low tolerance b/c of pills). We wandered around the plaza from one store to the next, me stumbling around. I saw a cute girl at the grocery check out line and took a picture from a disposable camera that i got from walmart. Yeah, got. There was also an alcohol place where they were giving out samples of a brand of wine. I also got a mini bottle of vodka there (the 1 or 2 shot bottle). Back to walmart to figure out what the deal is with the car. Apparently the bolts on the tire "seized" to the nuts so they had to fix that, which took another half an hour. Stupid old 95 geo prizm. So, we're back on the road. We arrive in ottawa, park on the street, and wander around. We stop at a bar called "Cock and Bull" where eric decides to have food. I just want more beer, and i get a pint of guiness. It tastes kind of bland. The service is bad and they gave eric fried zuchinni... ewwww. We leave, walk around some more and decide to cruise around ottawa. At around 8:30 pm, we made a U-turn at an empty plaza because we went away from the city. Eric drives over a massive visible curb beacuse he's blind. Passenger front tire is blown. Crap. I wonder if there's a spare or a jack. Eric doesn't know anything so i have to check for myself. I look and to my surprise, i find everything i need. So, i jacked up the car and tried to take one of the nuts off. It siezed onto the bolt and the nut with part of the bolt inside fell off. Crap #2. Eric's cell phone is dead. I don't want my parents to yell at me for paying a butt load of money for long distance calls out of canada, or that i even went to canada. Since eric and i both ahve cingular, i switch the sim cards in the phones. Eric calls his parents to tell em what's going on. He originally wasn't, but later on decided he should, cause we need a tow truck, and we don't have that much money. There was a convience store right next to the plaza and they called a tow truck for us. The tow trucks arrives 10 mins later. I ask him about a hotel and a garage. There's a motel 2 blocks away and a garage as well. I ask if the garage is open tomorrow (a SUNDAY) and the guy says that it is. The guy tells us that if we want to get the car fixed faster, to put the car key in an envelope and he'll slip it in the dropbox and leave our phone number. He takes us to this really sketchy looking motel and he leaves, with the car and key. At the motel entrance, we ask for a room and a girl that's outside says that it's full, this is a joke since the parking lot is basically empty. Eric doesn't get that it's a joke and gets all pissed off and i stop him before he says anything he'll regret. It's 75 CND for 2 beds. We're poorer. The room is bare, it has a sink and fridge in the room and the bathroom (with another sink) is pretty disguesting as well. Since it's only 9:30 pm, i decide to watch some tele, cause there's nothing else to do. At around 11, eric gets tired and wants the tv off. I can't sleep, so i just lay in bed for 3 hrs. At around 2 AM, i am bored enough that i decided to wander around outside. I walk a couple of blocks and there's this MASSIVE sphere that's sitting in the middle of a really tiny man made pond. The sphere is made of solid steel. It looks really shiny when vehicles pass by it i just sit around the place for an hour or so. It was big (around 10 feet in diameter) and SHINY!!!! I still can't sleep but i want to watch tv. I take the remote from the room and walk a couple of doors down and turn on the tv in the window. It's a good thing that the remote works on the other tv's. Five of the channels on the tv have girls with phones in their hands and 1-900 numbers on the bottom. All the girls did was semi-pose in front of the camera. It seemed like an infomercial but with no real "selling" needed. Once channel had a kama-sutra instructions, and another channel with porn, but semi-hard core with a ton of fetish related crap. This is just normal cable tv in canada.... waht the heck??? I watched this program about JFK's shooting, dealing with angles and velocity of the bullet using lasers mounted on a guy. THere was this couple outside that arrive to the motel in a taxi and went to their room. I felt tired, so i decided to go to bed. I went back to the room, eric's still sleeping, and i get ready to fall asleep. I start hearing these noises of the bed banging against the wall. Apparently the couple that came back were in the room next to us. Eric wakes up, and wonders why people are moving the bed around at this time at night. The rhythm and intensity of the knocking increases. I explain to eric that the people are having sex. (eric's older than me). After 10 mins, we watch tv, cause we can't sleep. When they stopped, i made my bed bang against the wall for a bit. I don't think they cared tho. Now, if eric would scream and stuff and i did too, then that would be freaky, but awesome. Eric doesn't wanna partake in my pranks. So, i fell asleep and we wake up around 9 am sunday. We call the garage over 20 times in a 2 hr period but no answer. Eric wants to get breakfast at the kfc across the high way, which opens at 11. We go, he gets food and i start talking to the cashier. She asks us what's going on, and i tell her our weird tale. Apparently she's heard stories about the motel. Well, we had some small talk and leave after eric finishes his food. We check out of the motel and get a taxi to the garage. Taxi costs 14 CND (not including tax i guess), and i only have 20 us. He gives me 5 cnd back. I have 7 bucks total on me now. We get to the garage, and it's located behind a closed and barbed fence. SUCK. There's a house infront of the gate that's in the midst of reconstruction, and there is a guy in it. We ask him about the garage. He doesn't know when they open or close. So, the next thing to do is to find a garage that can help us... like asap. Eric calls his dad to tell him our status, and i go off to find an open garage. It's a good thing that the particular garage is located next to a plethora of auto shops and what nots. I come back and eric's frickin gone. I do find a guy who's willing to fix it, but all we need is to move the car to the garage. Eric comes back, he was driving around with the guy from the house trying to find a garage as well. I told him about the place i found. All we have to do now is to get the key and drive off. Since the original garage we were going to go to is fenced off, the tow truck guy must have left the key in the glove compartment or somewhere else in the car, right? NO. FRICK!!! WHERE"S THE FRICKIN KEY! WHERE IS THAT STUPID PIECE OF METAL??? We call the towing company. First time, they give eric the shug off. I call and talk, and they claim that there's nothing they can do because the guy who towed us isn't there. I call a thrid time 10 mins later and tell them that it's essential to talk to the guy cause he has our key. The towing company tells me that he'll "page" the guy and ask and that they will call us back. They call back and tell us that the key is under the door of the garage. the LOCKED garage, behind a barbed fence. Hmm. The guys that live in the house are the landlord of the place. They, however, don't have the key. Eric looks small enough to go under the fence. He climbs under and i ask if he sees it. Nope. The door is also locked. I tell eric to try to look at the garage door and perhaps lift it up. He's too scared to go in because the garage door might close. I frickin climb under the fence and go inside. I see the key and the inside door is unlocked. SWEEEEET MOTHER OF GHANDI!!!!! I get the key and we leave, and crawl under the fence again. I'm all dirty cause it rained hard in the morning and the floor was mud. We drive the car to the place and get the car fixed. It costs 40 bucks and we don't have the money. We find an atm, and eric has too much trouble getting money out. I whip out my card and it works in no time. I'm probably gonna have to pay a bunch of fees tho. We pay the guy and we're on our way back home. We go a different route back home because there's no duty free shop (canada side) the way we came from. We go inside, and i choose a 1 liter bottle of kaulua and 1.75 liter bottle of absolut. Costs about 45 CND. Eric's covering it because i covered the fix (which his parents will cover). The person asks us if we're both over 21. I say yes, and eric is giving me a weird look. I exclaim loudly, "I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!! WHERE IS YOUR BATHROOOM??????!!!" They show me and i go, leaving eric alone to get carded. At the border, we have to pay tax for the stuff, which is only like 5 bucks. No biggie. We get back to potsdam, eat and i'm frickin exhaused. Eric leaves for ithaca, and i'm finally at the dorm. I fall asleep after watching family guy and american dad. All and all, it was a pretty interesting trip. I didn't get really pissed off until i talked to the tow truck company. After that, it was pretty groovy. That is my adventure, and i have tried to describe it with enough (maybe a bit too much) detail. It remindes me of one of those movies where an adventure goes horribly wrong. I'm broke now, but i have enough ingredients for a lot of white russians. The dude's legacy still lives on. Until next time. This update took more than an hour to write.

September 9th, 2005 - 11:13 am - So, i'm at Potsdam for a semester. Talked to folks and that took quite a while. They still think i'm stupid... which i can't really blame them. I don't know, i guess I just play dumb a lot of the time. Alors, i stopped my borders job and everything, and i don't have a job here because there's like freaking nothing here. Potsdam is like a sub rural area with like 2 bars and 3 spas. I don't quite get the spa dea tho. No superstore like wegmans kmart or even walmart. Sears is an electronic store, and the best grocery store here is P & C. Seriously. Today isn't the best of days. I overslept for most of my first class of the day, and during the only other class i had today, i was bleeding from the left side of my cheek. Apparently there's like an artery on the surface that i scratched when i washed my face today that made it bleed. It bled all over my cheek, down my neck and onto my shirt. I wonder why the girl to the left of me didn't say anything, nor did the teacher. I found out after i left and started walking home. Some girl told me that i was bleeding. Being a dork, i said, "Cool! Thanks" and left. I am also moving out of my sweet temp housing place to a crappier perm residence. My temp roomie is really cool, and i sort of hoped i'd still be rooming with him. My new roomie is black. Let me tell you something about potsdam. It's filled with white people. Putting me in the same room as another minority is ... well... wrong. Just because i'm IRISH doesn't mean i'd be more compatable with another. Especially asians. UGH! Anyways, there's my rant for the day. I gotta start packing and moving. This is going to suck.

August 17th, 2005 - 10:38 am - Well, i found out yesterday that i got into purdue. My parents woke me up this morning and i told them that i got in. However, they seem intent on not letting me go. So basically, my life has kind of been sucking at this point. On the plus side, i didn't really do what i did last time when i didn't go to cornell. Good ol mood swings. So at this point, i'm not really sure what i'm doing in life anymore, nor do i know where i'm going, since i'm still trying to fight for my right to (partay?) go to school. They want me to go to potsdam, which addmittedly has a fair amount of hot girls. Well, a bunch has happened since the last update. Let's see...i got a girlfriend. Wait, that's a lie. Just wanted to see if you readers are still awake. I went to nyc to visit benji and hang out with andrew. That didn't go as planned since andrew got sick the next day and left. I did go to nat sherman's and had myself a nice pam (padron aniverssary maduro) which was frickin awesome, since it was me, benji and mark (one of andrew's friends that i've met before). We also went to a fancy dinner and went to a coupla bars. I got kicked out of one because i was underage, and i just wanted to play pinball there. Grrrr. My borders gig at ithaca is almost over. IT was supposed to be on monday, but being my usual nice self, i decided to cover someone's shift on thursday. Which means, if i was to leave for purdue, i'd be leaving the next day. That means i should pack. Well, i should pack anyways because i have a lot to pack for. So, i was just leaving a brief update, which i hope i will elaborate on sometime within the next week or so. I rerealized how little interaction i usually have with my folks, which i enjoy. However, for the purdue thing to happen, oh man, this is gonna take a lot of effort.

May 5th, 2005 - 10:11 am - SO, i was in the car today, and "Dr. Jones" from Aqua popped up on my ipod. So, i was lisetning to it in the car on the drive to the library, and i noticed that one part of the song, which i always heard to be as "Please Please KILL ME", but today, i was listening and i finally understood what was going on. The lyrics are actually "Please Please CURE ME" which is totally different from the previous lyric. I always thought that the song was sort of a nod towards Dr. Kevorkian. I always thought that maybe the writer was trying to say that he/she didn't feel like living, so dr jones, please kill me. Maybe it was a subtle sort of way to fight the power. Or maybe it was a nod towards freedom of choice. I guess that i am overanalyizing too much for that song. Aqua isn't supposed to be that deep, and Aqua's "Barbie Girl" isn't about how the singer is disproportional, or how she has a perfect life that can be ruined by the big brother of the little girl who plays with the barbie, who undresses the barbie, and interchanges its head with like a dinasaur toy. I'm freaking hyper. I went to gimme's near Mann library. Holy crap that is a good location. I needed coffee since i only slept like 3 hrs last night. I didn't want to drive all the way down the hill for gimme's nor go to collegetown for stella's. It was too far and too much effort. Last night, i got matt to let me study at ALice Cook's study lounge because i needed a place to study, and the stupid libraries are really annoying around and after 3 am. Got another bio person to come with me because that's all i really have left to do. I still do. I'm gonna get back to work on it now. I hate school, even clown college.

May 4th, 2005 - 03:16 pm - Heh, you probably thought that I was going to discuss the movie "Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy." No, i picked up a hitchhiker today on my way to school. (* DON"T TELL MY PARENTS!!!!!*) You ask why? Because i felt like it, fool. His name was Lester, and mine was "Sean". He looked at me weirdly at times, but generally it was alright. He smelled kind of funky which wasn't really that plesant, however i got the stink out. So, that was sort of interesting. Today is a pretty intense day. The day that i needed to finish my sociology paper, i finished with like 30 minutes to spare. Today, i have a buttload of biology stuff to do and it's all due tomorrow. It sucks. Oh, last last friday, i almost got into some fights with some rowdy drunks. It was kind of fun, and i think i could be able to take them on. However, we didnt, cause we were kind of chicken. Not to mention, i didn't really want to get into trouble. I had another weird dream, but this time it was actually about benji. I dreamt that benji got a girlfriend who was asian, and i had some weird attitude towards her (I think i hated her with a passion), and we didn't hang out anymore. This will eventually be the case anyways :-P. I haven't seen his mom since last time. Borders is still work, and It was kind of painful yesterday, because there was a lot of work that had to be done. I still need to fill out my purude stuff, but i still don't have time. I better get it done soon, or else it'll suck. I know there are other stuff on my mind that will leat out of my brain, but i'm sort of preoccupied on getting my bio stuff done. Until then, cheers.

April 27th, 2005 - 09:03 pm - To you the reader, let me just make something clear. I am vular, well only in my thoughts. I also don't have the common sense of what not to write, so what i do choose to write (which is just about everything), can contain kind of werid or even gross things. I know that the current readers realize this, but this is for the new (if that ever occurs) readers. I don't really hold anything back (except names at times), so be prepared. Well, after reviewing all that i have to do that is due in the near future, especially two massive things that are due tomorrow, it appears that i shall have to pull an all nighter. I also missed my therapy lesson. Gah. Why am i writing in this thing then? Because i need to take a break from all the crap that's happening, and figure out, through my mind, what exactly is going on. So, first thing is first. I have a math exam tomorrow. I haven't gone to class in like two weeks. I called up Gaden to see what the deal is, and he informs me that the exam is tomorrow. It's a good thing it wasn't on tuesday! (*cause i skipped*) So, i have to write up a nice little cheat sheet for that, as he only allows one piece of paper. I kind of did this on the last exam, but i'm not sure if i'll be able to figure out what was going on like last time. The last time, i went to the review session. This time, i'm plumb out of luck. The other thing i must do is write a massivly retarded sociology paper that is due by midnight tomorrow (online). The thing is that i sort of haphazardly found some sources and wrote up my annotated biblography. So, based on the retarded articles, i must come up with a good argument. Of course we were given months to do this. Good ol' fashioned procrastination. Then there's bio. Bio teacher is evil. Seriously. We have like a paper to write every week, not to mention 2 lab reports that are almost due. And these lab reports are kind of crazy. They involve either lab stuff which were not explained at all, or bird observations... which is kind of retarded. The last thing i must do is to fill out my app to purdue. I must do that one soon, or else i might be stuck in a bad place. Oh, at borders, everthing has gotten a bit better. People don't hate me as much. They kind of just ignore me, and if i need something, they'll generally help me out, instead of the yelling at me all the time kind of deal. The register person who used to hate me is actually nicer to me now. I dunno. Funny thing... so, i went into the bathroom there, and earlier during the day, i noticed one stall was out of toilet paper. So, when i came in later, i was there using the urninal, and some dude RUSHES in, goes into the stall, and well... you can figure it out. I just waited there for a while, until he figured it out. I hear a nice amount of swearing. I stiffle my laughter as much as i could. I ask if he needs some paper. I throw it over and leave. Oh, quick note. I keep running into Benji's mom. It's weird, yet interesting. BENJI, STOP TRYING TO HOOK ME UP WITH YOUR MOM!!!!!!!

April 21st, 2005 - 08:19 pm - Just found out that i have a sociology exam which is a paper that's due by the end of tomorrow. I'm so burned out, and i have work tomrorow, which will make it that much more painful.
-07:11 pm  - (*more picture stuff*) So, back on topic. I finished studying for the bio thing, technically. I went to sleep around 7 o'clock am, after talking to jessie, who's currently in italy. Asked her about the pope thing, and apparently she lives too far away to really view it. Speaking of popes, right outside mann library, there's this quad where a gimme! is located, and on the top of one of the buildings, there is this pipe that lets out steam or smoke. It was white, and so i decided that i should shout loudly and point at the white smoke. Then i shouted, "A NEW POPE HAS BEEN DECIDED!!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!" I then left, but no one seemed to care. I suck at humor. So, i was supposed to wake up at 8 am and go and study bio. However, i woke up at around 10:30, and i was like, CRAP, i must go now. I went to school, studied, and i dunno how the test went. I sorta don't want to know. I went to the COrnell Ornothology(sic) building near sap sucker woods, and i'm amazed at how well amd how much thought was put into that thing. I had to do something for bio, which was to view the birds for an hour. After looking into the telescope for that long, i got me a headache. So, after sleeping for like 4 hrs, studying a lot and reading the textbook, watching retarded birds, and just going to school, i'm pretty much burned out. However, paulo encouraged me to go to mann to study, and i'm here, but not studying.... yet. I think i'll get started on the easy stuff: JAVASCRIPT! Oh, apparently my mom is gonna get a new cell phone for the family. You know, the familes talk free, 3 or 4 set deal. I might get my own cell phone! I steal jesse's cell phone most of the time anyways. Might as well we both get one. (*my cell phone number is (ithaca ny area code) 279-7578*)

April 20th, 2005 - 08:47 pm - yeah, don't click the link at the end of the last entry. just listened to part of it, and good golly i suck at singing. resist!
-07:39 pm - I had a weird dream where andrew and I met dubya. It was some weird like fundraising thing, and there was helium balloons. Okay, so here's the situation. There's some weird party going on, it is at some weird official looking building (in ithaca, i guess), but there's a big grass lawn surrounding it, like in the movie Richie Rich, where the mansion is surrounded by a massive field, with like a big fountain in the middle. Okay, getting back to the point, there is a roped off area and that's where Dubya is with reporters. Andrew and I are standing to the side, at some weird reception area where food and balloons are. I have no idea how i got there, but i somehow muster up the courage to wave mistah prez over. I ask him if we can just hang out, and just talk to him for a bit. Surprisingly, he says yes and we become instantly cooler. Another thing is that I decided to tell him a retarded joke. "You wanna know something dirty? MUD!" He gets it and laughs along. We shake hands and andrew talks to him. I wake up. That's not a very GOOD dream, but it was weird. Especially since i remember the balloons vividly as well as me and the stupid joke. I have a very funny joke about hemmorroids, but i'll save that for another time. I'm surprised at how good natured Dubya turned out to be in my mind. I mean, he's not the best president, but in many articles, people describe his jovial and very charming, but as a leader... condsidering what he has done, not the cream of the crop. AHAHHA I said cream... and crop (which sounds like a british version of crap. I wanna be irish so bad). Tattoos are funny looking, and i'm actually considering getting one. I find that ritalin sidetracks me sometimes. I am trying to find this awesome design, but it's hard to locate. Maybe i'll have to ask laura (*another pixel regular*) to take a picture for me if the author can't help me out. So, sidetracked again. I finally got the audiobook feature working on my ipod. I found out how to do it, and i'll tell you. First take all the mp3's and join em together. I found that using mp3merge worked out pretty well, however it destroyed my al franken audiobook. The audiobook was a variable bitrates, and i don't think mp3merge really liked that. So, if your mp3s are at variable, i guess try something else to join. Once they're joined, use itunes to convert using the aac encoder (edit properties... import). In this section, make sure to have the bitrate congruent to the mp3 file as well as the sample rate and channels. This is so that when converted, the file doesn't become inflated (size wise). I heard that other problems can exist if it does become inflated. So far, i haven't tried it on variable, but i'll have to test it out, somehow. Okay, now that you got your file converted, it'll rename the file to the m4a extension. All you have to do is change the extension to m4b. Now, if you're in windows, and you don't see extension, go to your windows explorer, then go to tools, folder options, then view, and then uncheck the "hide exensions options" which is below the hidden files and folders. Now once it's in m4b, open it in itunes and upload. This works, but it doesn't have the cool thing in audible, with the ".aa" extension, where when you press forward, it skips to the next chapter. It only has one bookmark per book, which is decent enough for me. Anyways, for the 2 people that read this thing, there go you. And to the one person who doesn't have an ipod who reads this, sorry to rub it in your face. I had a choice between giving you an ipod or a midget... and i felt the latter was more appropriate :-D. So, to sum things up, when i feel like accomplishing things, i do exert a buttload (my new fav term) of effort, but not necessarily for the correct things. I think i might have to stay up all night to finish my hw stuff. It's kinda gonna suck. (from the good ol days)

April 19th, 2005 - 09:02 pm - My brother got into Yale. I feel... like the black sheep of the family. I probably am, and i am... black, well not in the naughty way at least. I had a weird dream where my mom got pregnant and was expecting another child. I was thinking about how i could help raise this child and screw it up almost as bad as my mind currently is. It's been a long weekend, and work is very boring. One of my co-workers recently decided that my behavior is "unprofessional" and has decided to hate me with every ounce of her old fat body. She yells at me if i do something wrong, which is kind of interesting, because i really don't care. I mean, i care enough not to lose my job, but you know that's not that much. I think my bosses don't mind me either. I'm like one of the only "minorities" there. They can't fire me unless i do something really rash. There is a black guy, but he's kind of all around, helping people. I hate being a minority... and asian. I'm the cashier doing really mundane things. I have decided that i would like to work with cd's and dvds instead of just being a cashier making very little. I have a few coworkers that are pretty awesome. The only other person that hates me is Heidi, whom i don't really know at all, but has a badditude :-D. I just want money, why do i need to work for money? THis past weekend was "Educator's Savings Week" where any educator could come in, present some form of ID, and obtain 25% off on just about anything. Of course, i sort of gave this to random people, cute girls, and nice people. I think that's why the 200 year old lady got mad at me. Well, technically, any educator could get the discount, and we give them the benefit of the doubt, so if they said yes, i'd give it to them. So, alex's birthday was on friday. We (matt, alex, me, nick, pete, max, and eric) went to maxi's to have a nice dinner, and we gave him presents. It was really fun. I got him a weebee book (*as well as 4 AA batteries and a lightsaber*), where the whole book was for little children. It was a mix of both a book with lyrics, and an audio cd of songs. It's located here and was pretty freakin funny because the songs were pretty funny. I got it from borders for free. It was totally worth it. Is there anything else worth mentioning? Let's see... i need to finish my purde application, and i have an exam for bio that i kind of missed that i have to make up. Hopefully, it will all work out and i'll be able to finish all this school work crap. I've been sleeping a lot lately. It feels awesome, but i always feel like i'll miss something important. I also was informed that i only have a certain number of therapy sessions left before i'll have to pay out the bum for sessions. Hopefully i'll get most of the important issues sorted out before it expires. To you the reader, we should hang out. Booyah.

April 14th, 2005 - 09:41 pm - Gah, what's the deal with asians and hitting up the other asians for crap? I'm at mann library right now, and i just forgot to put something in my last entry, it happened before that entry. So, i'm here at mann library doing bio stuff, and all of a sudden, i see this asian on my left. He decided to ask me if i wanted to donate money to help the homeless. First of all, this is a library, not a place to peddle your crap. I care about the homeless and stuff and i even donate and volunteer, but when i'm in a library, my general purpose is to study, and leave my outside worries... outside. Secondly, he had a brochure which was all in some asian language. What the heck. Just cause i look asian don't mean i know any characters. Third, why did he ask me instead of annoying the other people at the place. If he cared enough about the poor, perhaps he could ask everybody, because there's a better chance someone will help "his" cause. So in conclusion, i hate asians. I know this isn't anything new, but just another roadblock in my becoming impartial to the race i hate the most, not to mention a weird ocurrance that just happened. However, this isn't as weird as that time in purdue, where when i was asked by this asian guy at the bus stop if i was asian, and by initiating the conversation in mandarin.
-08:35 pm - Greetings and Salutations (i know, sort of a redundant statement) Howdah fellahs! I know it's been a while since i updated this thingamabob. However, stupid clown college (no offense fellow classmates) (*i don't think i ever mentioned that it was TC3*) is dragging me down, especially the bio 105 class. We have so much stuff to do that basically unless i focus myself for a long period of time, i might not get everything done. Getting that out of the way, let me get on with this. Work: Borders. I now have an employee discount. It works for any store in the mall, not to mention any borders store. Since i'm part time, it's 33% for books. 15% or 20% for So here's the deal, if you want to buy anything from borders, let me know, and i'll try to help you out. And if you don't live near me, i could prolly work that out too, just ask me. I could call in, place an order, ask you to pick up and they'll take 33 percent off. Or if all else fails, i could give you the special passcode. WOrk is work, and i'm becomming more obsessive compulsive, and cleaning up random stuff. Even at pixel. The ritalin is working too well. Speaking of ritalin, i got more from doc M and i have enough again. DUring end of my last time, he didn't give enough for a whole month, and i had to ration. I feel focused again. Right now, i should be doing bio stuff, but i had the incessant urge to complete this entry and let me tell you, there's almost nothing that can stop me now. IT's like at the end of something, i actually feel accomplished and stuff. School: i have yet to finish my purdue application, but i will. Promise. Yesterday, i hung out with alex and maria (*they're a couple already*), and maria took us to one of the dining halls. Since i just got my refill of ritalin yesterday, it made me do bold and couragous things. I saw that very cute girl and right before i left, i told her she had beautiful eyes. She basically said thanks, and i left. I didn't feel comfortable enough to give/ask telephone number, however. Now, this isn't something i do... ever. However, i guess the ritalin is making me more less embarassed, not to mention paulo's voice is now stuck in my head. I've been hanging out with paulo more recently, ever since i found out he lives near me. We now study together. It is not easy studying, and movtivating myself, but it's better. He gave me this advice, "Just go over there and talk to her, it's not like you're ever gonna see her again." Of course i've heard this before, but somehow, he keeps it into my head. THe ritalin or either the season is making me feel... well, more interested in girls. Then again, it could all be paulo's doing. Anyways, i've been noticing girls more. Um, i think i was going to go somewhere with this, but i lost my train of thought as when i switched back to bio to do work, i got caught up and i just remembered about this.
Current goals:
-go to pennsylvania and buy fireworks before JUNE FIRST, because there's a discount if i buy early.
-save up enough money to finance a short trip to nyc to visit andrew and benji, and still have enough for "mad money"
-fill out the reapplication to purdue
-eat better
-establish a good relationship with some girls (not in a boyfriend girlfriend sort of relationship, just a good friend relationship) (i don't think i even have one...)
-and if i can really push my self (or get paulo to help me), to lose the stupid fatness that i have had for years now. Prolly by excercise, but i really hate running.
-Also, to finish my school work so i can do all the things above.
Shout out to my irish peeps. WHy won't people believe that i'm irish. Back to work. Distract me on aim when you can: thejollycompany.

March 29th, 2005 - 12:16 pm - My lap is warm. Yeah, warm lap (*laptop is on lap!*). Last night, i saw my the police and a van with its trunk open at sage hall. There was about 4 people that seemed like they were handcuffed and being talked to. I don't know what happeneed, but it looked like a drug bust or something, which could be really weird. The cop light wasn't flashing, so it didn't draw attention, but the van's internal lights were open, not to mention 4 people leaning against a different car, with their hands behind their back. It was an interesting sight. This past sunday, paulo and i went to mann library at like 4 pm, and we were studying continiously until like 9 pm. This ritalin really helps me focus and not get bored. I likey. My parents are leaving for new york city today. They are going to pick up my uncle who's comming to the us for the second time. My parents are staying in new york city until like saturday, so i basically i don't have a curfew for a while. However, i do still need to get up for some crucial things such as school, which really isn't that crucial, and work, which i will start today. I will be home with my brother, and my doggie. I shall start at borders at 6 pm today, and go until 10. That will be interesting, since it will be my first time. Kelly Services called today, but who knows what will happen. Maybe i'll have two jobs and rake in the money. Prolly not. booyakasha.

March 26th, 2005 - 02:50 pm - Two main things that happened? Well, there was like 2 major things, and then a couple of sub major things that happened. Why not call em "minor" things, asked christiana? well, cause uh, minor things aren't "news" worthy and i don't detail em, while these things sort of are. Okay here's the list:
I. Major things:
A. Ritalin
Now that i have ritalin, i feel like i'm getting back on track with my life. I can focus a lot better on whatever i want to focus on, which makes things a bit easier to deal with. I can also recall things a bit easier than i used to. Actually a lot easier. An analogy that would work for this would be without ritalin, i feel like i'm watching a bird in the sky. With ritalin, i have binoculars that i can use, but i can still see the surrounding area if i want to, well to an extent. It's hard to describe, as it just makes me focus better. You know?
B. Rochester Subway Exploring (*there are pics and stuff up for these. check the pictures area.*)
This event was awesome. I mean, AWESOME!!!!!!!! Unfortunatly, alex didn't even go that past weekend. He was whipped, basically. So, max, pete and i went, and we had a ton of fun. It was really scary because after a while, it was really dark. We had 2 maglight flashlights and if we turned out the lights, it was pitch dark. There was also random pieces of clothing lying about. That was just plain old weird and erie. We didn't meet anyone, so that was sort of a relief for me, becaus if i did, i'd prolly be really scared. There's a bunch of pictures i just uploaded to my site. it's my site/rochester/rochester XYZ.jpg (xyz is from 001 to like 135, but 119, 103, 081, 025, and 019 are all avi files). my fav would prolly be this one here or this one this is funny. there's also a video of us setting off roman candles in the dark. here (video, avi). it was a blast, and then we went to "dinasaur bbq" for dindin. that place has surprisingly decent food. good meat.
II. Sub Major things
A. I was hired by Borders.
They called me on thursday, and i called em back yesterday. It wasn't even the manager that called me, but like, i guess a soon to be coworker who will educate me on how to work, etc, and he said that apparently he was supposed to set up a time with me because i got hired. I said "Um, that's good to know." I shall start work this comming tuesday, and i can soon buy books for people with my employee discount! It looks like a better place to work than best buy. So hopefully everything will work out. I"m tired of temping, and getting my hopes up just to be shattered. Pay will suck initially, but will rise. My goal, at least 7 bucks an hour, hopefully 7.50. i don't have that high of a standard.
B. Gadabout
Yesh, i'm starting that up again. I don't know how long i'll keeping it going this time. It's all volunteer. I mean, i could prolly get paid for doing so, but i like to distinct working jobs from volunteering jobs. Plus, i bet it looks better on my resume, if it was kept at volunteer. I guess i'll go in at least once more, which will be this wednesday.
C. St Patties Day
I dyed my hair green for that day. Then went to alex's and had a power hour of beer (a shot of beer every minute) and a coupla shots of scotch. Andrew came along because he came back for break. I felt really bad the next day. I think i threw up a couple of times at night, and my parents asked what was wrong. i blamed it on the food i bought from tops when i was uh... tipsy. Some egg pie, i forget the name of the food.
D. Kuma's
This past wednesday, paulo, eric t, matt, and i went there. Paulo wanted to go, as did eric, and i was like ok, i guess. I felt really out of place and weird. I do mean weird. Most of the girls there weren't that hot, but there was one. So i bought a lapdance for matt. Afterwards everyone else got a lapdance. paulo bought me one, i felt realllly weird, and i just sat there like a dead fish. after i was done, she asked me if it was that bad. I told her i was just really nervous and that she's pretty but i'm just a dork. She laughed and we then all left a bit after that. So, that's basically all the events that passed since the last real update. I have truffles pics. one two three .My parents are leaving tuesday and then returning on saturday. This means longer hanging out times, and other such stuff. Contact me if you want to do something. Well, no one really reads this so it doesn't really matter, does it. :-D

March 26th, 2005  - 01:23 am - So, between the last time i touched this place and now, 2 major things have happened. No, i'm still a loser, don't worry about that. And no, i'm not pregnant. more info tomorrow.

March 8th, 2005 - 07:31 pm - Holy crap, i really need to go and pee. My leg is shaking here. However, i decided to punish myself and type on this thing instead. Well, what has happened? Today, school was canceled. WHy? teacher had a cold. Went with eric to have some lunch. Other than that, nothing much happened. I still haven't taken a photo of the half truffle, mainly because i keep forgetting, and when i do remember, it's too late in the day, and i'm not near the digital camera. It tasted pretty yummily. What i did with my half is just to cut it up and eat it, like a normal mushroom. But in small bits. I think i'll make an omlett with the other half. TRUFFLE SHAVINGS! I am so not motivated to do work right now, and i have barely any spending money. TOmorrow, i'm going to borders for an interview. That means i might get hired. According to another eric, the minority status at borders is quite low, and in order to appease the public, they might need to hire more "ethnic" employees. However, i'd prolly be rude only to the monkey faces. You know who they are if you've seen "Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips". Best cartoon ever. saturday i'm going back to rochester and exploring the caves for real this time. IT'll be awesome. Andrew is commin back this thursday, which will be cool. okay. now time to go and relieve myself of this pain in my nether regions.

March 5th, 2005 - 10:58 pm - I just bought a truffle at wegmans. It's a "burgandy truffle" and its unit price is $399.99 a pound. I bought one truffle, and it cost $4.00. (.01 lbs). i ate some and it was pretty good. Well, i ate half of it, and alex was supposed to get the other half, but he didn't want it. So, i have half a truffle now. I think i'll take a picture of it tomorrow. i also forgot to mention. i drove eric samjsoinasoingpaoisdf (*that's a joke on his unspellable last name*) to walmart today. first time either of us went there. when i got there, i felt an udder disrespect for the place, and caused some naughty things to happen. Basically, a lot of stuff got moved around. it's actually 2 in the morning now, because i have been on the update journal page for that long, and i also watched anchorman. it was a pretty funny stupid movie. i'd watch it again if i had some alcohol in me. steve corell, man, he's just awesome in that movie.
-09:14 pm  - I got to see Jon Stewart LIVE yesterday at cornell's barton hall. Schwager had an extra ticket. Later on, i'll scan a picture of the reciept.(*that never happened*) Thursday night, my bio teacher threw a wad of rolled up paper towel at me. I was making some wise crack about something. I don't remember, but she looked around and then threw the paper towel at me. People saw and just laughed. She has an interesting sense of humor, but she said "brain fart". I guess she has regained my respect. So on friday, i went up to rochester to pick up pete. (road trip occured) Alex came along and we left at 8:30. We ended up in rochester at around 10:15 because we got sort of lost. My map direction was right, but alex didnt' believe me. So we met with pete, and went to a nice mexican restaurant. I had a 6 dollar beef burrito and it was very good. I was surpised how good that place was. Afterwards, we decided to go find some thrift stores and buy some stuff. The two that pete had addys for apparently didn't exist, or they looked shady. We decided to go to rochester's Goodwill. I ended up buying a 5 dollar suit and a sonic 3 game for the genesis, which i gave to pixel. I still have my 5 dollar suit. It's awesome. It's a bit small, but if i wear a crappy shirt underneath it, it looks like i'm unemployed. Since alex needed to be back in ithaca around 3:30, we left around 12:30. Next weekend, we'll explore the abandoned underground subways. Max will come along as well, which will be fun. Then at night time, i saw jon stewart basically do standup. It was freakin awesome. He talked about how stupid his dog was, and how the dog got explosive diarrhea. There were also jabs at religion, dubya, and whitey. He kind of disappeared after our showing, but apparently there was a q and a session for the second showing (at 10. mine was at 8). Hung out with pete, alex and max at night, had some yeungling and some buds. fun. i have so much to do shchool wise, and i wonder when it'll get done.

March 3rd, 2005 - 06:19 pm - I'm here at school, with a lot of stuff i need to do. Apparently, alex wants to go on saturday to rochester. If that's fine with pete, that's fine with me. I guess I'll stay in ithaca friday night and go to see jon stewart. WHOO JON STEWART!!!!! Other than that, There's nothing else. I can't wait till saturday. this week pretty much blew. so much crap i had to do.Went to my psychologist yesterday. Had an interesting talk. Asked if i ever peed in my pants during mid conversation. Answer: no. He thought i might have petit mal seizures.

February 28th, 2005 - 10:10 pm - So, today, when i took a shower, i put conditioner in my hair. At the end of the whole shower "ordeal" i left.I got dressed, and left for school. However, half way during school, i was wondering why my hair was not drying. I put my hands through my hair and i realized that I FORGOT TO RINSE THE CONDITIONER OFF MY HAIR . I had a few choices at this point. One was to turn back and rinse my hair at home. Another was to go to the school's bathroom, rinse out my hair, and then to use paper towels to dry it. The third was to leave it alone and forget about it. Since i had a paper due in a coupla hours and i didn't start it, i decided to take choice number three. I finished the paper just in time for bio and to turn it in, and my hair dried. It feels weird and smells all flowery. GOlleeey. There's a hot girl in my bio class, and i have yet to get to nerve to do anything (*i never really did*). Oh, i noticed the other day, that i can pinpoint when i lose some respect for a person. It's when they said "brain fart." After that, they regained my respect, eventually. I hate that phrase. It's retarded. I'm visiting pete on friday with alex, and that'll be a fun adventure. We'll look for buried treasure. I also noticed that Sean O'Toole, is slowly killing me by poisoning me. My guess is that he's gonna take over in a few years. That'll be interesting when i become the subtle voice in the back of MY head.

February 19th, 2005 - 04:31 pm - ahhhhhh just took a leak. Whee!
- 03:21 pm - um, knight rider anyone? Let's start out with an entry from www.urbandictionary.com of the term "fo' shizzle my nizzle" : "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother" I'd like to start out with some stuff about KNIGHT RIDER, mainly because I saw an episode yesterday. If you don't know what it is, well then, you're just deprived of awesomse Hasselhoff action. Apparently, the car (called KITT), can do basically anything, like take an overhead shot of just about anything within a couple hundred yards away, nothing further, even if there's a hill or something overhead, and print out a "hard copy" of the picture. My guess is that KITT would have to tap into the satilites in the sky, but if that was so, couldn't he do that anywhere instead of being a couple hundred of yards away from the main "action"? Micahel Knight (David Hasselhoff), wears this watch that can communicate to KITT, and apparently a jillion other things. For instance, it has a lazer that can be used to calculate where the ball will land on a roulette table. There's also a microphone that is on there, and then KITT can amplify the sounds of a tumbler of a safe so that Michael can crack it. I mean, wouldn't it also amplify other sounds as well, like the cracking of Michael's leather jacket. But no, all the audience hears is the enhanced sound of the tumbler. KITT can also manipulate, let's see, he can manipulate a juke box, so that different songs can be played, even during mid play of another song. I guess i should be calling KITT an "it" but it sounds like a guy, so i'm gonna call it a he. KITT can also manipulate the voltage output (which in turn manipulates the speed) of a mechanical bull. I mean, first of all, how to you hack into the mechanical output wirelessly? Then, how can you transfer voltage from the car to the box, without tapping into the wires? I guess everything electronic can be manipulated because they emit information that can be hacked wirelessly, like 70's jukeboxes, primitive video cameras, and apparently gadgets such as mechanical bulls.
Here's the functions for KITT:
VEHICLE FUNCTIONS
PRIMARY FUNCTIONS
1. Automatic Pilot
2. Voice analyzer
3. Infrared Tracking Scope (Range: 10 miles)
4. Pyroclastic Lamination (Maintains cool body temperature in extreme heat)
5. Blood Analyzer
6. Microwave Jammer
7. Interior Oxygenator
8. X-Ray
9. Flame Thrower
10. Rocket Boosters
11. Smokescreen
12. Trajectory Guidance System (Launches KITT at any angle within 90 degree arc)
13. Oil Jets
14. Olfactory Detector
15. Spectrograph

ANCILLARY FUNCTIONS
1. Electromagnetic Field Generator
2. Microwave Ignition Sensor (Activates other engines)
3. Aquatic Synthesizer
4. Electronic Field Disrupter
5. Ultramagnesium Charges
6. Grappling Hook
7. Ultraphonic Chemical Analyzer
8. Two Wheel Skis
9. Graphic Translator (Sketches likenesses from verbal input)
10. Anamorphic Equalizer
What the heck! Electromagnetic field genetrator? Weird. "Electronic Field Disruptor", which means the same an electromagnetic pulse (EMP), but currently (I think), the only way to produce those is by way of a nuclear explosion. Maybe i'm wrong, but that's cool. It's like the Delaurian in "Back to the Future." Ultraphonic Chemical Analyzer, i guess, but how can it analize something like 2 miles deep because of a drill hole. That's what KITT did in the particular episode i watched. Graphic Translator... AHHAHAHAHAHAHHA, that's a load of bull. What if the guy has an indian accent, does that mean you draw him indian-like? What if it was the voice of Apu, played by Hank Azaria? Could KITT draw Hank? I mean, what if Hank grew up in India, and then moved to the US? He wouldn't necessarily look Indian...? Man, i'm thinking too much about this. Let's move on to something different. All you non KNIGHT RIDER fans, you can start reading again. So, Alex and I made a pact, no soda for a week. We have kept it so far. Yesterday, I stopped by the Jew House, where Eric lives, and picked up my SONY MDR-EX71SL headphones, which Eric helped me buy online. THere was a party there, and some pretty hot looking jewish girls. Oh, i wish i was ethnic. But i'm not, i'm irish. Everybody has a bit of irish em, even if they don't know it yet. I'm just irish, drunk, and i fight. I saw Ray with Schwager, which was pretty good. I lost my soft fluffy thing in the progress. The thing that i use to wipe my glasses. I lost it, somewhere at cinemapolis. Afterwards, i went to Max's place to do our rap. We knocked a few ROCKS back, and then had some buds. Then Matt and Ian showed up. Basically, we only rapped once before we kind of gave up. Max wasn't feeling too well anyways. Here's my "updated" part of the rap that involves Dubya.

Get out the way yo
Get out the way yo
Dubya Bush just got dropped
He doesn't know how to mac
And let me hit him in his back
Karl Rove needs to get spanked right
For setting up traps
Small political murders
And everyone's heard of yah
The press attack when we're exposin' yah
Tak your shank
You'll need it when we gank
Gauard your rank
Cause I'm a slam your ass in a cock
Dubya's weaker than a freakin block
and i'm runnin through wigga
and i'm smockin my marijuana
in front of you wigga
With cock of power
Tucked in my Guess
Under my Eddie Bower
It tastes pretty sour
It push those hookers every hour
I HIT EM UP.
(from 2pac's HIT EM UP, after the chorus)

February 16th, 2005 - 09:51 pm - Hello, yes, i am still alive. I think. But perhaps i'm acutally dead, and all of this is some elaborate prank that's been played on me. SO, it's februrary now, and what do i have to show for my troubles? A quick stint temp job at H&R Block, and um, a free ipod? Yesh, i got a free ipod from the gratis thing. Benji got me mah last referral. THe sellout :-D. Man, i can die happily now because of this thing. I have 10 gigs of songs, an ipod armour, a pair of nice sony headphones on the way, and i'm thinking about getting an italk. with this thing, i can die peacefully. So, let's see, what has happened recently? I decided to see a shrink again. My first appointment will be this wednesday. Currently, i'm at PIXEL (www.pixelithaca.com), which is mah hangout place, mang. Still at clown college, prolly gonna transfer soon. You know what, i don't really know what i'm doing anymore. I mean, why do we do what we do? "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy s**t we don't need." Well, that was an interesting interlude. Jeni (*pixel regular*) just fell on the floor, and kept laughing and laughing. Twas interesting. I guess you just gotta be there. What else is going on? Hmmm.... i'm helping max make a rap with the "Hit 'em up" by 2pac beat. i'm also a loser. i think that about sums it up. oh when i went to benji's place, i got him a midget to strip. FUNFUNFUN! Totally worth the money. Victor chipped in, which was nice of him.
 

October 10th, 2004 - 07:52 pm - i'm in nyc So, it's sometime in october. a fair amount has happened. THe weather's colder, my uncle came to visit, and i'm hanging out at benji's crib trying to set him up a surprise for his birthday. he has no idea what's commin to him. Will write more. I"m watching "Paranoia Agent"... well i will be once i go back to watching it and i stop typing this up. w00.

August 29th, 2004 - 12:36 am - Went kayaking with andrew and warren today at Cayuga Lake. There was a lightning storm at around 1 or 2 pm today. We were still in the water. It came really close to the lake, but moved westward. Almost toast. I saw the lightning hit the park. Benji's back in nyc and andrew is leaving soon, so i won't have that many people to hang out with anymore on a regular basis.I'm also running out of spending money. I was working at Sage Hall at cornell as a "laptop specialist". I just configured laptops and trouble shooted them. Basically info tech stuff. I played computer games all the time and slept at work. My secretary would cover me. It was a nice job. But school started, so i had to leave. It was also a temp job anyways.

August 16th, 2004 - 07:40 am - So, i'm here at work, and it's been like a week and some change. But anyways, this week has been pretty... interesting. I helped out on Joe Romano's movie, where benji's an assistant director. I've been pretty busy with that. There's a lot of pictures somewhere... :-P (*check in the pics section. as of 11/2/5, it's not up. well, it's up but not in displayable format yet.*) I'll get to it sometime today or tomorrow. I had to drive to Bath, NY yesterday at like 9 pm, wait a freakin hour for my brother to show up and then drive back. I got home at like 1:35 AM. I have to work at 8 AM. My parents are gone this whole weeeeek. Party time for Lodka?

August 4th, 2004 - 07:06 pm - Madness Mayhem: 256 kills. Brother passed his driving exam. I helped. Sorta.
-11:17 am - So, i decided to take two more pictures of my arm. These should be really crisp and in focus. OwiePic#4 OwiePic#5 (*it's still hard to tell*) Passonate.

August 3rd, 2004 - 02:59 pm - So yeah, those pictues of my arm suck. I wonder who did it. Government conspiracy? I tried a "COX IN YO MOUF" (*mixed drink that benji made. ingredients are on his journal*)Very good, sir, very good. Soy milk. VITASOY. Heh. I found out i got the job from Kelly service. It's where i load crap onto a computer. Easy work for 9 bucks an hour. AWESOME! I wanna go to pixel tonight.

August 2nd, 2004 - 04:05 pm - So, i was looking at my arm today, and i noticed i had a bruise there. It looks like i got a shot in my arm and what resulted was a bruise. However, i do not remember being near any needles for the past few weeks. What the heck? OwiePic#1; OwiePic#2; OwiePic#3; (*those are hyperlinks*) Three photos of the bruise with red dot in center. Maybe i got abducted by aliens.Or government agents. WARNING: these photos are huge. you might not even be able to see it too well. Oh, my name isn't jesse. (*don't remember what the jesse reference was about*)

August 1st, 2004 - 01:01 am - I was being a jerk today to these two girls. Okay, so i'm in the van, and these two girls are behind me in a car. I'm on the curb, parked, and so are they. They are between two cars, and i'm only behind them, free to pull out anytime (shut up, perv. oh wait. what does that make me?). So, they figured, why back up and stuff, when they can just pull forward? Heh, i thought this too. I decided to mess with them. So, i turn on the engine, pretend i'm gonna leave, and then decide to go to the back and look for stuff. So i'm just shuffling stuff around, and i see them pull back. I quickly get into the driver seat and pretend i'm gonna leave. So they stand still. OH WAIT. I decided to sit in the seat for like 20 seconds. They start to pull out. I pull out too, but only a little, cause they have the right of way. They pass me, and give me sort of a dirty look. I could not stop smiling. And then at the red light, they turned right, even tho it was no turn on red. They were from massachusettes, and prolly college students. I"M A TOWNINE. LET"S STRING US UP SOME COLLEGE FOLKS. Oh, benji beat my frickin high score on jungle lords the other night. he has 2.7 mill. I had 2.1. PUNK. I almost beat the high score on HIGH SPEED, the 4.5 mill. I got 3.9 mill. Close. Sorta.
(* Jungle lords and High speed are pinball games at PIXEL, a common hang out place[now] which benji found during the summer of 04. It's a coffee bar and retro arcade place. Now they have alcohol.*)

July 29th, 2004 - 04:49 pm - Okay, so, my mom told me something interesting about those people who were in the car accident with us. Apparently, the old guy took his car to a dealer and got an estimate for fixing up the bumper. Value= $400. So he called my mom up at WORK, and asked for 400 dollars. Not the insurance company, but my mom's WORK. He asked MY MOM for FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS, for a scratch on their REAR BUMPER. This guy, is a piece of work. He also wanted compensated damages for her wife's headache. But the baby is fine tho. My mom told him to settle with our insurance company. And apparently, our insurance company only covers injury that occured to the driver, not the passenger. The driver's insurance would have to cover it. Later on, we got a message from Erie Insurance wanting to know what happened. My guess... he exaggerated and they're checking up on his story. Yesterday. Jungle Lord. 2.1 MILLION. HIGH SCORE!

July 26th, 2004 - 12:15 am - Oh, the husband guy (who was driving) was trying to complain to the cop that the slight imprint on their BLACK rubbery-plastic bumper of the GREEN stationwagon was 300 dollars worth of damage. So bourne supremacy the summary:
borchka123: saw the bourne supremacy yesterday
borchka123: twas entertaining
thejollycompany: heh
thejollycompany: i saw it today
thejollycompany: it wasn't that good
thejollycompany: it was ... entertaining
thejollycompany: sorta
thejollycompany: but not good
thejollycompany: plot=horrible
thejollycompany: action=horrible
borchka123: hahaha true
thejollycompany: camerawork=mediocre
thejollycompany: hot girl= not that hot
borchka123: they didnt even really 'have' a girl
borchka123: except for the one at the beginning and julia stiles
(*a conversation on aim btwn me and andrew*)
hot girl= VERY WATCHABLE MOVIE! IF ALL ELSE FAILS, ADD A FREAKIN HOT GIRL TO THE FILM. People will go to see it. So, yeah. Um, film fest was fun, met joe, wally, alex, victor(again), and the other joe. I got money under protest, and there was one dude who ruined a lot of stuff. He should be smacked upside the head. You know whom i'm talking about.

July 25th, 2004 - 10:29 pm - Today, my mom got into a car accident at 5 mph. that's right, FIVE. She rear ended the other person's car, and a slight imprint of the license plate could be seen on the other person's car. It was... an older gentleman and a crazy lady. I say crazy.... well, listen to this. Okay, so my mom was driving towards elm st, and near the gas station, you turn right onto some street (seneca? off seneca?) anyways, the guy decided to go and then stop again, even tho he could have gone. My mom, didnt' see this, and decided to go. She rear ended the car at freakin 5 mph, but there was a fair amount of a jolt. The crazy lady, comes out of her car, screaming, almost crying saying there's a baby in the car. She basically screams this in my mom's face. The baby, seemed fine. It didn't cry or anything. The crazy lady held it like it had just got half its head blown off. She was crying, soothing the baby, and shouting, " MY BABY WAS IN THE CAR." During this whole ordeal, i did not say a single thing except to the police, which was my name. If, i was say anything, it would get ugly, which would not have been beneficial to the situation. I would have first got in her face, and told her to calm down. Perhaps a nice pimp slap might do the trick. So yeah, then i would be like, okay, let's look at this in a very objective point of view. First, was IT in its baby seat and had on a seat belt? No? WELL YOU"RE A HORRIBLE MOTHER. YOU ARE NOT ALOOWED TO HAVE CHILDREN ANYMORE. Yesh? Good! Now you see, the purpose of the child seat with seatbelt is to cushion such accidents. Granted, this was an accident that wasn't on purpose, but engineers do know what they're doing, and you should trust their product. If it failed, then sue them. Get out of my face. Let's also look at another point. When the child was removed from the car, was it crying? Did it have bruises all over the face? Well then, maybe you should STOP PUNCHING YOUR CHILD. NO CHILDREN FOR YOU. If it looked fine, and it didn't even cry, maybe, just maybe, there's nothing wrong. Don't get worked up over nothing. Yesh, your husband said that stuff might occur a couple days later... well, go to a pediatrist, not your normal one, cause the doc might be biased, and let the doc figure it out. If there is something wrong, have the doc send a letter to my insurance company. Oh, by the way, you're not getting the driver license of the driver, nor the insurance number/ card. Yeah, uh i don't think so. Let the cop sort it out. Any injuries, said the cop? the crazy lady said a headache. RIGHT I BELIEVE THAT, WHORE. No body else was hurt, not even your friggin baby. I'm not hurt, my mom's not hurt, your husband isn't hurt, the guy in the car with me wasn't hurt. So, don't think you can milk money out of us. Heh, anyways, that's what i would have liked to say to the crazy lady. However, If i said any of this, it would not have been beneficial. So, i kept my mouth shut, and near the end of the sequence of events, assessed the damage. Saw bourne supremacy today. It wasn't that good. It was not worth the money i paid to see it. Oh wait, i didn't pay. I got in b/c i knew a worker. Ahh, fringe benefits. Benji is in nyc, as is Andrew, and i kind of want to hang with em. I'm bored.

July 21st, 2004 - 05:44 pm oh, if you're planning to knock off Tompkins county trust tonight, now's your chance.
-05:42 pm - So, the film festival was fun. Met some new people, and scared them away.
thejollycompany: so
thejollycompany: guess what happened for gadabout today
BuNj mAsTeR: what happened
BuNj mAsTeR: your parents ran off with the key
thejollycompany: heh
thejollycompany: i was at east hill plaza
thejollycompany: and
thejollycompany: someone was supposed to be picked up from one of the banks
thejollycompany: i did not know which one
thejollycompany: so i went to all of em
thejollycompany: when i go to tompkins county trust
thejollycompany: i saw noone who looked old enough and i decided to leave
thejollycompany: VIA their teller
thejollycompany: cause it was easier than backing up
thejollycompany: i thought to myself, okay, i could prolly drive thru it, seeing as the height was big enough
thejollycompany: er tall enough
thejollycompany: So, i drove thru, and what did i hear?
thejollycompany: something scraping the wall
thejollycompany: so i uh... knocked off the video camera at the tompkins county trust
BuNj mAsTeR: what happened
BuNj mAsTeR: after that
thejollycompany: i had to go and tell em
thejollycompany: and give em my info
thejollycompany: i felt really stupid
thejollycompany: and i radioed in and they... laughed at me
thejollycompany: They said, hitting only one out of three banks isn't bad
(*aim conv btwn benji and me. live journal medium doesn't convert very well to this medium. I'm editing them for here when copy and pasting*)
i suck. (*and i felt really really stupid*) I  need a real job. I'm wondering, could i get paid to do gadabout? I'd work min wage. (*that never happened. i decided to keep volunteer as volunteer*)

July 9th, 2004 - 04:10 pm - WHO'S CERTIFIED NOW, BIATCH??????? OHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I can now officially drive old people around. Just took my road test and i have a CDL class B (apparently it's B) license. Booyah. I know, I've been slacking in updating. Then again, no one reads this. And i'm busy nowadays as well. I'm off to NYC (*to see my grandmother, i think).

June 22nd, 2004 - 10:01 am - (*I posted some picture. This'll happen a few times. Guess you just have to go to the journal to see what i posted.*)

June 21st, 2004 - 12:45 pm - I think what i'm gonna do is use this for a day to day account of memories, while my other "live journal"(this is the one on my website, you gotta remove the ! on the link),  On friday night, I went to a party, and had a spot o' fun. I returned home at around 1:30, and asked benji if we were still on for saturday. We were going to go across the border to penn to buy some good ol fireworks. I mean, a lot of fireworks. But, benji, being the wuss that he was, decided not to go. I really wanted to go buy some this past weekend because it was like 2 weeks away from fourth of july. How else are you gonna celebrate the land you're living on, than by blowing a part of it up? So, i wake up in the morning, and I basically learned that both the cars were going to be used, and therefore, i could not drive. So, after talking to like 2 people online, eric helps me out. He pulls thru and off we go to pennsylvania. It's about an hour drive. We get there, and i buy... a lot... of fire works. I'll upload a photo sometime.(*nope*) I spent... coughonefourtyeightcough... uh... dollars. Twenty five of it is for benji, and like 15 is for my brother. But still, it's a lot. A LOT. There shall be a massive time of rejoicing and celebration when the time is ripe. Andrew knows what i'm talking about. So does Benji. I think you FEEL me too. Eric, on the other hand only bought a sparkler shower... it was like 75 cents. HE DIDN"T BUY MORE LIKE I TOLD HIM HE SHOULD. (it's a rare opportunity to buy fireworks, espeically when you have access to all sorts.) You can never have enough fireworks. The second note about fireworks is that yesterday, I had some fun with some of my stuff. These firecrackers i had, are waterproof, so i put some in a can of redbull, filled with water. The can jumped like 6 feet, fell over, and started to smoke. I put another one in a plastic cup filled with water. The cup split in half, and both halves flew in different directions. I also had some roman candles. I set them off, and aimed them at my friend's appartment window. The upstairs neighbour called the cops. This prolly wasn't the... smartest... thing to do, but i enjoyed it, as did they. They weren't expecting me to aim at them (they were watching thru the window). Today, i burped at a horse, and it got scared for a second. I was also teasing a horse that was protecting it's daughter. The daughter was lying on the floor, like how dogs do, and as soon as I came near it, the parent came near, and sort of stomped his or her feet. So after i walked away, the parent decided to go off to graze, but, I CAME BACK. SO DID THE HORSE.

June 16th, 2004 - 10:24 am - So, today, while walking to the vet school, i took the route where there are horsies. When you first walk down this road, there's a group of horses to your left, in a big ol cage. Sorta. It was more of an enclosed field. Anyways, i saw this small brown hawesie, and a big ol white one kind of together. The brown one was prolly a little tyke, and it had it's head at the white, adult horse's crotch. I was like, wait, something's not right here. The white one could be feeding the little one, but THEY'RE DIFFERENT COLORS!!!! DIFFERENT!!!! The white one looked at me, and I looked back, not moving. After a little bit, I shook my head, wish i had brought my camera, and walked on. I looked back, and the white one was eating grass, and the horsie was still... well,... you know... there. So i went on further, and i was walking through the gates, and on the right was an enclosed pen, and it was small. I heard a horse neigh, and i looked over. There was a horse staring at me. It was brown, with a white diamond on it's head. I asked, "You want a piece of me???" It actually shook it's head, and then went back to eating grass. I thought that this would be the end of my horse adventures, but apparently, it wasn't so. After passing the "barn" and stuff, there's another horse field to my left. There was this child horse...a foal, and it was near the fence. I was like, cool, i'll walk up towards it. So, after looking at it a bit, I move on, and convince it to walk with me, on the other side of the gate, until the end of it's field. It does walk with me, and I talk to it, asking if it would like to change places with me, and it can be a HU-MON for a while. After a bit, the adult came up behind the foal, and i bet it went something like this: "OI! Hey bloaker, why don't you stop bollocking around with the human, and stop messing with it." The foal's response: "Hey, mum, keep your knickers on." So it stopped walking with me. I then proceeded to feel sad. BUT THEN... i contemplated how it would be like for a horse to become a human for like a day. I'd tell it, "Humans don't eat GRASS, silly." Bob would then take the grass out of it's mouth, and then ask me what humans ate. "Horses, silly. Dude, if you don't eat horse meat every day, at least a little bit, your brain will rot away." I would get Bob to eat some horse meat eventually, and when he was eating it, i'd be laughing, and not eating my horse meat. Wait, that's cruel.
- 08:22 am  - Okay, so, I figure, it's prolly easier for me to start typing up stuff here, i mean, cause why not? It's a heck of a lot easier to do this, rather than to upload a couple hundred K file to my website. Yeah, there's a journal there, and if you have enough time on your hands, you might just be courageous enough to read it. Or it might attack your brain, and you might melt. Benji, Maria (*i forget when, but now (11/2/5) Maria and Alex has become a couple. I forget exactly when, but I thought I'd just mention it here*), and I went bowling last night for about an hour at Ide's. Benji won the first round by bowling a 141, which, was really freakin crazy. Then again, he was using a TWELVE POUNDER ball. Well, i was only using a 14. Maria won the second round, by... well, a lot. I don't quite remeber the scores, because i decided to change all the scores to a perfect game. All I know is I couldn't even get a 70 the second round. Is there anything else that I should mention before I leave? Hmmm, I must get fireworks this Saturday. Else, the good ones might be taken away. I WANT GOOD FIREWORKS. FIREWORKS GO BOOM BOOM!!!!!!!! AND FLASHY NOISES!!!!! AND SEIZURES!!!! YAAYYYYYYYYY!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOM! Now, the question is, if you're just reading this for the first time, how old do you think I am? Mature? You're wrong.

(this is the end of the live journal period, if your reading this from top to bottom. If from bottom to top, then this is the start of the live journal period)

Wednesday - 3/26/04 - 9:28 AM HAPPY NEW YEAR! And some other holidays that i missed. Booya. Check it out. The time since i last wrote, and now. AHAHAHHAHAH, man i'm lazy bum. Here's a picture of me and a cinder block. It'll open up in a new window. CAUSE I COMMAND IT!!!!! I'm a powerful person. Or just a dork. There's more pictures of me. You should be able to find it with out too much trouble. HOKAY. Let's get down to business... or something. Let's start out recently and work backwards, as that seems to be easier, cause i can remember stuff that happened a couple weeks ago, rather than the distant past. So, let's see. I'm in ithaca at the moment. Why? I took a semester off from school. I'm also back on pills again... but different pills. Lexapro. I hung out with andrew and benji last week. They came back for spring break. It was a week earlier than cornell's spring break. That means that cornell was a carmageddon heaven. AHAHAHA carmageddon. I remember that game. It was really fun to run people over. Andrew thinks that the cornell students run in front of the cars on purpose. I think i might have to agree. They want to end their lives on the hood of our cars. Crazy college students. Let's see what else happened. I watched Starsky and Hutch, and then Hidalgo with the them. Hidalgo was really bad. There wasn't even a hot girl to pull me through the movie. Andrew and I agree that no matter what movie, even if it sucks, if there's a hot girl to pull you through the movie, it won't be that bad. In Hidalgo, there was an "ethnic" girl. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but she wasn't HOT. I know, i'm being shallow but you know, hot girls make everything better. :-D. Let me just say that it was a horrible movie. HORRIBLE. DON"T SEE IT. Starsky and Hutch was an okay movie. I mean, it's prolly worth seeing once, because it's sorta funny with the wilson and stiller comedic timing and feeling. Not to mention will ferrel. Pretty funny. And, of course, there's hot girls. I'm not saying that any movie without a hot girl isn't good, i'm just saying it's a definate plus. Crap, i just found out that eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is out, but in cinemapolis. It's been out since last weekend. CRAP. I should have made andrew watch it with me. Now, i don't have an excuse to go out and do stuff, cause no one is around. So, let's see what else is happening. I've been visiting NYC periodically. The first time was to see my grandfather, whom i haven't seen since i was like three. Benji has a live journal. So, i'm linking it (i just thought of it, but i digress). Let's see. I visited NYC for like a whole week. I met andrew's suitemates. And I already met ferris and goldberg before. I also met benji's roommates, one whom i've also met before. It was pretty fun, i hung out with them, and had plenty of stuff to do and drink and eat. I met some new people as well. And two girls. All in all, I must say it was pretty fun. I got to pull off my Sean O'Toole bit. And i pissed off arivindin. We saw lost in translation in like the (andrew says physics) computer room, and people spilled crap all over the place. It was pretty funny. Popcorn was all on the floor. I think someone spilled some beer. I puked later on, and it was pretty nasty. Andrew helped me out a bit, and i was grateful for that. I had fun entertaining goldberg and his racist self. Hopefully I can do it again this weekend. I am leaving for NYC again on sunday, but if i can convince my parents, i can possibly leave friday, and then I can hang out with them for a while. So, i was in NYC for a whole week because I wanted to get my passport renewed and to get a visa for china. However, when i got to the passport agency in NYC, the receptionist was very rude. I went there a little early, because i figured that i might take a while on the subway. But i got there earlier than expected. So when i was there, the receptionist told me to come back in like 15 minutes. I asked what time it was, and she lied and told me that she didn't know. She said it very coldly and gave me a dirty look. Crazy. So i went out to get some hot chocolate. I came back 15 mins later and they told me that i couldn't renew my passport there without an airline ticket. Well, that was a waste of like two hours. When i came bakc from the city, i got my passport renewed at the county court place. It took forever because i didn't have any cash, and they only accepted checks or money orders. So i had to get some checks. Then i had to go to the post office to get two express evenlopes and two stamps for like 14.50. My passport came back at the beginning of last week, when I went to the city again to visit my grandparents. All i did there was read a book, and watch some blurry tv. Ahh headaches galore. That television made my head spin. I got to pick up Benji sunday morning and gave him a ride back home. I drove through the city a little bit on saturday, and then I drove through all of palisades parkway on sunday, and then fell asleep. Apparently benji and my mom had a nice talk. My mom doesn't get pissed at me anymore. She seems more caring and mellow. My dad, however, is still really pissy. I find it's better not to talk at all sometimes, because if i say anything, he starts yellin at me. Like this one time, i asked how much snow was outside, and then he accused me of not shoveling the driveway. There are days when we don't talk at all. Most of the time, he's at his office anyways. Okay, on to lighter stuff. So, i'm going to china on the 31st of March. Yesh, i'm going to the commie land. I can visit my relatives and see the sights. My uncle is there. He told me that i didn't have to really bring anything. Well, everything is cheaper in the land of the yellow skins. Silly asians. Trix are for kids. Okay, let me see. I have a flight schedule in front of me right now. I'll be stopping in Japan both coming and going. First time, I'll be there for like an hour. The second time, it's gonna be more than 14 hours. Which means, i'll prolly need to sleep. But if i take the money that i would use for a hotel, and use it to look around, and travel for a little while, that would be cool. I wonder if anything is open from 8 pm to about noon. However, i have no idea what time that is referring to. Local time, or EST? Anyways, I'll try to do some writing when I'm in "middle country". Hopefully, there'll be a place with an html editor or something, and an internet connection. I can't live without internet. Okay, it's like 10:30. Dang, i wonder how many people have stopped reading by now. Let's see, there was other stuff i wanted to discuss to myself. There was love/crushes, superpowers, and the summer of 03. Let's start with disease. When i went to get my prescription of lexapro, i asked about hemorrhoids. Heh, i think you know where this is going, but i'm going to warn you in advance that i'm going to get descriptive. So, I guess i was really stressed or i ate bad food or something, but I had blood commin out of you know where. So I asked what the deal was. The doctor (A FEMALE ONE) was like, okay, this what we do. Take off your pants and stuff, wrap yourself with this thin sheet of paper, and lie on this bed. So i did. She put on gloves and decided to poke me. Ahh the joys of hemms. She prescribed me suppositories to take. I read one of the sheets that said that the suppositories might cause anal leakage. I was like screw that. Not to mention the fact that i don't want to shove anything in my butt if i don't have to. So, the pills are unused. Anyone want a box? Last night, i was thinking about superpowers. I was thinking of what the best power would be. There was of course, the power of finding whatever you wanted. That would be a useful power. It would be really cool, especially if you lost something. You could also find people, like bin laden, or to see if any celebrity was close, so you could bug them, and then say, i know where you live. I could also find buried treasure. But then i thought that was kind of selfish. I was thinking of this other power i could have where i could for, maybe a maximum of a week, i could take someone's disease or crippling feature, and i could carry that burden, and the person could live a normal life for like a week. I mean, think about steven hawkings. He could talk and walk and lecture properly. Or have a blind person see what life is like on earth, all the colors of the spectrum. I guess it could be a bit cruel, because the person would have had a taste of life, and then lost it again. But i bet the person would be really happy for a week. He could get drunk. Or drive a car. It'd be funny to see steven hawkings drive a nascar stock car around some city. Okay, enough of deep thinking. Let's get back to silliness. If you're wondering why i was holding a cinder block, well, it all started when it was benji's birthday. I promised him i'd get him premiere. I did, and i wanted to sent it to him. But i couldn't just send it to him in an envelope, that wouldn't be any fun. So i walked around the campus, and i found a cinder block. Cinder blocks aren't very hard to find, especially since there's always construction going on in a college. So i took it, carried it home, and packaged it in a box, with some cds and lots of packaging material. I taped it up really good, and i took it to fedex. I tried to do usps, but they said their scale wouldn't handle it. I went to fedex and shipped it. It was timed so that it would get there right on his birthday. I wrote a message on the cinder block. It was like 38 pounds and it cost me about 32 bucks. BEST THIRTY TWO BUCKS EVER. Oh man, i wonder how many people had to carry that heavy box around. I bet the look on benji's face was priceless. So, i told it to some people, and we decided to start a cinder block crusade. We would take cinderblocks... just take them. Of course, we were joking, but during one of my sleepless nights, i decided to walk around, and lo and behold, i stumbled across a cinder block. Of course, i took it, and i took some pictures of it. That block still sits in the apartment with the roomies and there is a note tucked inside of it. If any of you ever find it, you should read the note. The cinder block is located at 214 Marstellar St, Apt 4, West Lafayette, IN 47906. It'll be there till the end of the semester, or until my roomies throw it away. My roomies were pretty cool. Especially the girls. Us guys could get away with doing nothing. Sometimes, they would clean compulsorily. It was awesome. Then they organized a schedule for cleaning, which spoiled the fun. Let's talk about love now. I had a whole mess i was going to write about love, but since my stupid dream, i can't quite remember too much. Let's describe my dream. I was in china, apparently, in a cafeteria of some sort, that almost looked exactly like the one at IHS. So, i get my food, sit down to eat, and there's this couple sitting on the table, holding each other, with their backs against the wall. They started talking to me, and noticed that I was not quite chinese. The guy was definatly chinese, but the girl was like half asian, and she looked pretty hot. We talked a little bit in english, and then suddenly the scene changed. It was the guy again, but he was on top of a two story building, getting ready to jump. The girl was hysterical, and i decided to run up to the top and try to convince him out of it. However, when i got up there, he already jumped and he died. I tried to calm the girl down for a while, and then I left, and went on my computer. Later on, the girl and i were making out in a coffin. Then i woke up. This was one of the weirdest dreams in a while. So, when i woke up, you can imagine how screwed up i was. But yeah, last night i talked to this one girl for a second. One whom i still have a little crush on. It's crazy. I don't know why we have crushes at all. It's cruel. There was also this one girl at purdue whom i had a crush on. Hmm, i think i meant to go somewhere with this, but i really can't remember where. WHy are girls so hot.. no that's not it... girls are evil... no not quite it either. I am silly... closer. Ahh screw it. Let's talk about the summer of 03. So, at the start of the summer, I didn't do too much. I did get a job though. Both benji and andrew had a job, so we couldn't quite hang out during the day. I worked at the vet school as a technician/ lab assistant. I got to play with liquid nitrogen. In the afternoons, i'd come home, and then we'd all hang out. This one time, we all went to ringwood raceway, and we brought like a lot of people along just to play. There was david, laurence, eric, chia, and some friend of benji's. It was really fun and really random. The owner yelled at chia because he didn't use the break at the end, and crashed into the parked cars. David decided to get stuck in the tires on the straightaway for no reason at all. I went kayaking over the summer as well. For like two and a half days. I think it's time for a break. If i feel like it, i'll continue writing. I just took my dog out for a walk, and he was silly. Here's a short video of me harassing him. It's a .avi, so you'll need an avi player, like windows media. It's like 20 megs and there's also sound. Remind me to tell you my diabetes story sometime. I think i've used up all my writing energy for one day.

Thursday- 5/8/3  - 8:34 PM (EST non DST). Hmm, let's see. I've found a place to stay for the next semester. That's gonna be pretty cool. I'm gonna be sharing an apartment with 2 girls and one guy. The girls are pretty cool and stuff. I'm replacing another girl who decided not to live in the apartment, basically backing out of the contract. The girls are pretty hot, esp the one i'm replacing, which is a shame, i guess. It's not like i have a chance with any girl ever. But um, let's see. One of the girls is asian, and well, eh, she's alright. It doesn't seem like she's all azn pride and stuff. There were too many asians in the stewart center tho. It made me crazy, like wanting to destroy all their crappy little paintings that they were selling. This was on wednesday by the way. I should meet the guy. He's busy and stuff, so i don't know. What else have i been doing? Well, I have been studying for my exams. Three down, one to go. My math final. Blah. I should have no more finals. And presto, no more finals, and i'd ace em all. But, back to reality. I've packed up about half of my stuff, and i still have clothes to pack. I need to wash em, cause they're dirty. What else do i have to discuss? Alex is having a lan party on the 17th, and i'll be there, i guess. Oh, i know, my optical mouse broke, and I had to resort to using my touchpad for a while. Now i have a regular microsoft mouse with the scroll thingie. I have to see what the warranty is for the thing, but it should still be covered. Then i could do better b/c the mouse with the ball stinks, as it gucks up a lot. I should study for my math soon. I'm really bored. My roommate has taken just about everything and put em in his frat that he will be joining. That means, no television, and therefore, i don't have something to have on as background noise that i can just stare at. I'm bored. I'm leaving on saturday, which means i could be back by sunday, which would be nice.

Sunday- 5/4/3 - 2:07 AM (Indiana time, EST non DST). What does that mean? It means that it's like the Eastern Standard Time in the east, but Indiana doesn't seem to honor daylight savings time, which means, when it's on daylights savings time in the eastern zone, it's not here, meaning that EST is an hour ahead. Otherwise, it's the same time. It's confusing, no? Only a few places have that no DST type deal. Indiana, Hawaii, most of Arizona, Puerto, Virgin Islands, Samoa and the other small islands to the west of the us. Okay, back on to the stuff. It's been more than a month since i last input some of my thoughts onto a surface or text. It is technically the day before the start of exams week, and I have been busy, somewhat. I was thinking that I should prolly go back on my pills. Benji thinks so too. AND YOU"RE ALL CRAZY. So what have I been doing? Heh, that's a secret. I've been pretty busy though. I have been looking for an apartment, and I finally found one. The first one I was to join was pretty good. But the dude who was gonna give me his place was like, okay, you can have it. A week later, he was like, oh a roommate's girlfriend wants to live there, so you can't have it. HAHAHAHAHHAH. I want to stab him, WITH A STRAW!!!! He's such a douchbag. Well, i guess it's not his fault. He knows the roommate more and stuff, and we only had a verbal agreement. So, I found another one. 'Tis with 2 girls and another guy. Isn't that cool? I've met the guy, who's called Andrew, and I have yet to meet the girls. One's asian, and the other is irish. Asian girls are... eh... not too appealing in my opinion. IRISH PEOPLE ROCK!!! JUST LIKE SEAN O'TOOLE!!!! There are exceptions, but not many. I've been wanting to get a desert eagle for a while now. I want to get a blank firing one, and use it in props. Loan it to people and perhaps get a fee from it. I don't know about the fee, but i do know that they'd have to pay for the blanks they use. Blanks aren't all that cheap. So what have I been doing? Heh. I'll post it sometime. I've been seriously considering my career and I decided to take a semester of pre-med courses. The intro, so bio and chem and stuff. I'm going to go to career counseling and i'm gonna see what they come up with. What else.... hmmm... i've just really been passing time, and there was that one week that was awesome. I'm gonna go home this saturday, just 6 days away. However, I'll be studying, and therefore won't be doing much. I need to change the layout of the whole website, which will probably happen in the summer, if i'm not that lazy. I won't be doing much of an entry. I don't have much to do on wednesday, so i might update it then. Oh, if you guys haven't done so already, check out Sam and Max Hit the Road. It's an old school adventure computer game, and it's awesome. If you can, partake in the ithaca film fest that Benji is in charge of. It's a film fest. I should enter and my entry would be basically first, you see an old man. A football come into the frame, directly aimed at the old man's crotch. It makes contact, and the man falls down, and groans in agony. MAWHAHHAHAHAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. No film fest is complete without such an entry..

Friday- 3/29/03 - 12:40 AM. It's almost been a whole month. I'm getting better, no? I had spring break all of last week, and it was pretty awesome. You wanna know another BEST DRINK EVER? Reed's Extra Ginger Brew. Oh yea, it's mad good when it's cold. I shouldn't really advertise, but it's that good. During spring break, Andrew and I bought a whole 24 pack case of it, and we drank the whole thing in like 3 days. I could drink like 5 of them a day if i wanted to. Okay, so let's see where I should start. I have obtained some goodies recently. One is a ripgo and the other is a cybersonic. One is a mini cd player, playing wma, mp3 and cd type files, and it also serves as a burner. It's pretty good, but it drains it's rechargeable battery like a whore. Seriously. The cybersonic is a type of electric toothbrush that uses sonic waves to remove the crap off the teeth. It seems like it works. I bought one for my brother, and he uses it too. However, i have the updated version :-D. He told me even before i got it that he wanted the older version. Well, it saves me some money. Let's see, what else. I have a tomy bit char-g, a mini r/c that is amusing. The boosters were for that, to improve distance of control. I've been giving out a lot of boosters, and although i've given out a lot, i still have a lot more. Apparently, it's helping some people. It's pretty weird how a sticker can do such a thing. Okay, so for spring break, I decided to go back and visit some peeps. I had to ride the greyhound again. I learned some new things. You can change the date you leave if you already bought your ticket. However, you do need to know the schedule. All you need to do is go to the station at least an hour earlier than the schedule leave of the bus you want to ride, and ask them to change it. You will need to pay a fee, but if you buy 3 day advance, like i did, it's only 10 bucks. However, once you change, you aren't allowed to change again, supposedly. Even for the trip back. You hafta make sure when you change, that you are SURE you're happy with your whole trip. You can't change again, like i said before. So, i was able to leave a day earlier. I rode the bus without much trouble to chicago. At chicago, the bus came an hour late even though the prompter said it was "on time". An asian person came up to me, and he asked, in CHINESE, if the line i was standing in (you have to line up at the gate, like the earlier years of school) was to go to cleveland. The sign said that it was going to nyc, and he was confused, b/c it appeared he never rode before. The prompter tells you which gate to wait at. Anyways, i got really pissed off at him. I was thinking, notice THINKING, why the fudge would you go up to someone in a foreign language and start asking him something. If you plan to ask in another language, you should at least have the curtsey of asking first. He just came up to me and decided to speak in mandarin. I didn't really want to speak much, esp in chinese, so i just said "Pardon?" He asked again, but in english. It was an interesting time. I had to make change in cleveland, and so did the asian person. In line to get on the bus, the driver stopped letting people on. We waited for like 15 mins. That happens every once in a while, b/c they need to organize stuff, such as the baggage, and figure out if there's enough space left on the bus. Anyways, the point i'm getting to is that the asian dude was all impatient and was really frustrated. It was really amusing. He kept asking people what the deal was and even the security guards. He swore too. One needs to have patience in order to ride the greyhound. It wasn't too bad. Even though there are delays, it's generally made up on the road. Be sure to carry tissues and wet naps (or some type of hand cleaner), because you never know. Some of the bathrooms on the bus are really bad. One didn't have a hand cleaner of any sort. The break part was really fun. Andrew and I watched a lot of movies. By a lot, i mean A WHOLE FREAKIN LOT. We averaged like 2 movies a day, and sometimes more. Basically, it was hanging out, watching movies, getting some grub from some place, and drinking ginger beer. Last thursday, we went to Billy Bob Jack's for their eating contest. The rules were you hafta eat the side dish of what ever you choose, applesause, and a slice of texas toast, as well as the big 49 ounce beef in an hour. You are not allowed to cheat by giving to others, etc, and you can't get out of your seat. I decided to do it as well, and i thought it would be cool to drag Benji along, not letting him know where it was. It would have been more funny that way, but andrew told him, so oh well. But it was all good because benji brought his camera and took pictures of the whole event. It would have been cool to have a video camera, but oh well. If we kidnapped him and took him there, we wouldn't have obtained pictures. You would think i would upload them, right? Yea, i will, as soon as i get them. The pictures are stored at his home computer, but he's not at home at the moment. If I contacted his parents, that would work, but i'm pretty lazy. You want to know what happened, right? I'll save it for later. It's 3 in the morning, and i've been talking to people while trying to typing this, so which is why it's taking forever to do. I was thinking about my future as well, and I was wondering what's going to happen? I am still not sure if i should change my major. I was thinking of changing it to premed, and become either an emt, nurse, or doctor. I'm still not sure on what i should do, however. I don't feel content with cs, and I really would like a job i'd be satisfied with, and where i could help people. I could technically help people in cs, by innovation and stuff, but it's not the same experience as a doctor or nurse. Tianyu is doing well in cs, he has some nice opportunities. Then again, he's getting good grades and stuff, and learning a lot more than the crap courses i'm learning here. I don't know anymore. I'm feel out of it, and that i should really reflect on my life, and what i can do. I feel like a bum sometimes, just getting by and not really doing anything. The classes feel so trivial. Psych is like the only interesting class. So the question to ponder is, what now, brown cow?

Sunday- 3/3/03 - 12:02 AM. It's another day in the neighborhood, another day as a neighbor, won't you be mine? Won't you be mine? RIP Mr. Fred Rogers. He died of stomach cancer. MISTER ROGERS IS AWESOME!!!!! He will be missed. This happened maybe a few days ago. I'd put up a link, but I'm too lazy. Let me see, I think i'm going back to Ithaca for spring break, but i'm not quite sure. I hope so, so that i can see andrew try to eat that big steak that billy bob jacks serve. What have I been up to? Moping about how my life is stupid, pointless, boring, lonely, and basically sucky in general. I've been able to get a hold of some antenna boosters for the cell phone, and i've been handing them out. Supposedly, the people i've given em to have seem to notice a change and better reception. I don't quite understand how and why a piece of flimsy stuff on an adhesive piece, attached to the cell phone next to the battery. If you want one, you can get one from me. It will only cost me an envelope and a stamp, and if you tell me how it works before and after, i guess i could send one to you. I only have like 50 to give away though. A little experiment of mine. If you could be specific about how much better it works, well that would be even better. I've had nothing to do for a while now. I'm really bored, and i've thought up of some strange ideas and perhaps some work opportunities that could help the environment and stuff. Since i have nothing better to discuss, I guess i will discuss my plan. Okay, my plan is to get some people into the land dumps and remove all the stuff that can be recycled. They would basically have protective suits so they can breathe through an air tank, and the suit should be padded so that they couldn't get cut by anything. They would have mini barrels either attached to them or around them so that they could put the recyclable stuff in the container. I realize that this might sound stupid and impossible, but it would create jobs. Of course, they would be paid more than minimum wage, i'd say around 10 an hour minimum. It would create some source of money, help the environment some more (we could create like 10 hrs of electricity with every can that we reuse), and get some lazy arses off the couch and put em to work. I forgot, but i had something else to say too. I tried to get a webcam integrated with the website. I realized that it takes up a lot of my cpu usage, and also, the refresh rate is slow, even slower if integrated with java. I think i'm gonna upload launch octopus songs as soon as i get enough songs. I only have like 5 or 6. 

Thursday- 2/20/03 - 4:58 AM. I'm going to try and perhaps update this more frequently. One thing you guys must check out is the song that Johnny Cash did, the cover of Nine Inch Nail's song "Hurt". You go find the song by yourself. It's not on this website anywhere... duh, i don't wanna void my contract. If you have mtv2 or cmt, you might catch a glimpse of the music video that he created. It does sound kind of country, but that's b/c it's johnny cash! It still is pretty cool. I have watched the second season of mahoromatic (it's anime for those of you who don't know what it is). It's really good and depressing. What am i feeling now? Blusey and alone (and that's not due to mahoromatic, b/c i finished that a few days ago). My roommate is out at his frat again. It seems like i live by myself now and some dude stops by every once in a while. I'm not quite sure what's going to happen next year, i'm not sure if i should stay in the dorms or live in an apartment. Apartment would be so much cheaper, but i wouldn't meet that many people, probably. As well, i'd hafta figure out transportation if it was a long way from campus (which would be unlikely), and i'd also hafta cook for myself. It would be a different transition. Any one have any recommendations? I just remembered something my brother told me a long time ago. He actually had a girlfriend for a short period of time. Sophmore year, can you believe it? Bah... He's in jolly old england at the moment, with the combined class with miss PB. On to a different subject. I think i might go back to ithaca for spring break and visit some friends. Get some more of that delicious ginger beer that they sell at ludgates. YUMMY. I have no idea what my transportation will be. It will most likely be greyhound again (which reminds me i gotta give you that advice deal), but there might be a chance that i willl be flying. Supposedly there are some tickets that my parents have that are going to expire soon, and that haven't been used. Oh, my spring schedule is here. I don't think i've put it up before. I didn't get a c or better in the class related to my major, so i gotta redo it. It's so FREAKING stupid. Purdue is strict as crap. My assignments are easy, but if you have a typo or some teeny mistake, you get an automatic 0. Of course it doesn't help that i hafta cut and paste to submit my files and it becomes very easy to screw up. I hafta cut and paste b/c i can only debug my code on their unix serv, which i hafta use telnet to connect on. I can't submit it from the unix system. I think i found a better way to do it now. I feel pretty stupid and useless. I have no idea what i'm going to major in or anything anymore. I feel like i should do something that would help people, and i don't know if i could stand in front of a computer coding all day. The logic behind it isn't all that bad though. My parents were disappointed in me, and i am too, and i know you all will be as well. It pisses me off. TOPIC CHANGE!!!!! I am taking psych now, and i have to have 10 lab credits. Basically what i hafta do is participate in projects that are kinda stupid, and very time consuming. I have four credits already (it took me a bit more than an hour to do, even though it's supposed to be 2). Supposedly, you get 1 credit per hour you do some lab. I get three more today at the end of the project b/c it's a continuation of the first one i did, and it's only 1 hour long. But i get an extra credit for continuing. I need to meet some new people. I'm lonely. Oh, I decided to get a copy of a lab i had to do for cs. I have these labs that i hafta create the project within 2 hours, with a lab instructor. This week, it was implementing a class with an array. Check out the way they decided to write the assignment. It's so stupid that it's funny. And I quote (by copy and pasting) {You have just taken a new job at the British Secret Service. You've just begun settling into your new position when you are interrupted by Miss Moneypenny, secretary to M, the head of the organization. "You have to help me," Moneypenny begins. "M has just asked me to put together a new project, but James has finally agreed to have dinner with me! Would you be willing to take some of my work?" As you hesitate, Moneypenny gives you a pleading look and continues, "How often do I get the chance to have dinner with the great James Bond?!" Reluctantly you agree, and offer what help you can. "M has asked me to transfer my Rolodex to an up-to-date computerized version, using arrays," Moneypenney explains. "This way, we can keep track of all of our secret agents and their assignments. I've put together an outline and already have some of the code finished. The files that I have started can be retrieved above. I've marked in what needs to be done, and if you have any questions, I'm sure your lab instructor will be able to help you. Thanks so much! Oh, and by the way, M needs the finished version in two hours." "Good luck! I'm off to meet James!"} and i shudder. It was easy. Took me only half an hour. Each year's lab assignments are different, so you can't just say i did it before. Thinking about classes, you wonder if your french teacher will someday go crazy because of all the people who hack the french language so bad. He'll just go mental one day and start foaming at the mouth and start throwing stuff around. I imagine my teacher doing that all the time. It's in interesting image each time. My teacher is a native frenchie who came to the us not too long ago. He has a very subtle accent, it's hard to notice, but he hasn't picked up all of english slang yet. Before I part this entry, i would like to write down my greyhound tips. The first thing you should do is figure out what you're going to carry. I suggest no more than 2 bags. You can carry on two bags onto the bus with you. The rest you hafta store in their thingie under the bus. That can be a big pain in the butt, esp if there are a lot of people with a lot of crap to drag around. The two bags won't be prone to damage or being lost. However, you should make sure your bags aren't too big in mass, or they won't fit anywhere, and it will be an uncomfortable ride. I suggest you buy the ticket online, because if you go from one place to another and the distance is kind of far, you can get a 50 percent discount if you buy 7 days in advance. However, there is no refund of any sort. When you first get to the stop, you should be around half an hour early, just incase of something weird happens, or the bus arrives early, and you can board an get a good seat. Anything you bring in a plastic bag, they do not count as a bag, so you can bring some food and stuff. You're not supposed to bring alcohol, but if you mask it good, i bet they won't really care too much. However there is an exception which you'll see later on. The tellers at the stops don't really help you much. They're generally there for purchasing of the tickets and if a bus leaves without you. However, occasionally you'll need them to tell which gate to board when you show them your ticket. It's not always really clear on which gate to board in the big stations. However, sometimes, the bus driver will say which gate are for which destinations. That happens when you're going to have to switch busses and they tell you right before you reach the bus stop. Sometimes you might have to wait a few hours for the bus to show up. In that time, they do have something that you can do, but it does cost money. You can buy food as well, but their food at the stations are all jacked up. It's like 2 bucks for bottled water sometimes. 3 bucks for a sobe. They have arcades and that's not all that bad, but if you're a bad player, you won't get your money's worth. There are also tvs at some stations. Sometimes, it's free, but it's only one channel, and it's in color. Other times, it's these little thingamabobs that you insert a quarter, and you can watch a black and white monitor that gets maybe one or 2 channels if you're lucky enough for about 15 minutes. Most of the time, it's around 14 mins and 50 seconds. I don't suggest you sleep, because you could miss your reboarding thing all together, and then you're screwed. You're supposed to ask the teller what do do in that case. Sometimes, the teller goes around waking people up just in case and those are the cool ones, but most of the time, nothing happens. You can sleep on the bus. I recommend bringing a roll of quarters or something if you're going to be switching busses a lot. Keep an eye on your crap b/c someone might steal it. One dude approached me once saying how he could sell me laptops really cheap. I had kind of a suspicious feeling that he or someone else stole them. When you board the bus, you have to stand in line at the gate, or in front of the bus when there's just one gate. You give you ticket to the bus driver. Sometimes they give it back to you, and sometimes they take the ticket depending on how far you travel, b/c sometimes the drivers switch and you give your ticket to the new driver. Depending on where you board, some different things may happen. In lafayette and indiana, they just let you on the bus without doing anything. You could be packing perhaps a jillion weapons and they wouldn't know. However, in cincinatti, it's a bit different. They have metal detectors that they use on everyone, and they do check your baggage (for weapons and alcohol and drugs). If you're just reboarding, they don't care. The whole system is kind of bad. Make sure you know approx what time you'll be arriving and leaving and stuff. Look at your schedule that they give you and follow that. There will be stops along the way, and if the time isn't around what it's said on the schedule, then that's not your stop. You can get off for a break and stuff, but make sure to get back on before the bus leaves. There is a bathroom on the bus as well. The bathrooms at the stations are dirty and pretty repulsive. On the bus, if you fall asleep, make sure that you do not have anything covering your ears or eyes, such as headphones and those blind thingies. The driver usually wakes the sleeping passengers by using the speakers and turning on the lights. That generally does it. If all else fails, get to know the person next to you and ask them to wake you up. But don't always count on it, cause people can be mean. Make sure to take a shower before you take the trip, because it can take forever to get from one place to another, and you can smell bad pretty fast. It takes me 20 some odd hours to get me from indiana to new york. I suggest that if you have some free time, get out and visit the city beyond the station, esp if you have more than 1 hour free. I couldn't do that because at the cities i was at, i had to board like 20 mins later, or there is nothing really close by the station, i'd need to hail a taxi or something. I think that's it. If I remember more, i'll add it...somewhere...

Friday- 2/14/03 - 11:07 AM. Hey, it's been a while since i've decided to write at a decent hour. It still doesn't change the fatigue that i'm experiencing, like the other posts. I haven't slept all night, and i feel overweight, bloated, and overall, pretty crappy. Let's see. Yesterday, this asian dude wanted me to buy roses for today, valentines day. I asked why? He said i should buy it for the person i love. I didn't have anyone to love, so i said i don't have anyone. He got all weird and said that's too bad in an eerie tone. That made me all depressed about how my life sux and i don't have any female friends that i know of here. I participated in some research for psychology. This was for my psych 120 credit, and i earn 4 credit hours (i need 7 more). I get 3 more, when i go in next week for the second installment of the research. It wasn't too hard of stuff to do, but it took a while, and some logic. I should get paid for that stuff. It would be a good source of money. Come to think of it, i should try to find some kind of easy job. I need money. I wanna buy stuff. I've bought some stuff already. Some books and stuff, dvds. I wanna get a cybersonic 2 toothbrush. They look awesome. Let's see, what else do i want to discuss. I don't sleep all that much sometimes. Tho sometimes i do. I don't have class until 3:30 sometiems, and that makes it so i don't ahve to get up until around 2 ish. I'm such a lazy bum. I've been trying to keep up with my classes. I slacked off WAY too much last semester and i did pretty poorly, so i gotta redeem myself. Oh, I just saw all of season 2 of mahoromatic, and i must say, that is a good series. You guys gotta check it out. Gainax's choice of projects are always really good, even flcl (furi kuri). I need to see wings of honninease. One of gainax's movie projects. Oh, you know the pills i'm supposed to take for depression and all that jazz (antihistimine, etc.) i haven't taken it for a while now. Perhaps that's why i've been like this. You know what i need to do, i need to sleep a lot. That would make me feel better. For some reason now, i'm always thirsty. I don't know why, but i always have this urge for liquid of some sort. It's like i have cotton mouth. I feel thirsty very quickly after i drank some stuff. The last thing that i will leave with is (no, not the greyhound bus tips, that'll come sometime...) that i'm seriously considering changing my major to something that will take me into the path of becomming a doctor. I don't think the life of a cs person is right for me. I feel that i won't be satisfied being a programmer and such, but i would feel more content helping people.

Saturday- 1/18/03 - 3:14 AM. I have this deep sense of depression at the moment for some reason. Perhaps it's because of the loneness that I feel at the moment, not really having anyone to hang out with here, or even talk to at 3 in the friggin morning. My roommate has disappeared for the weekend. He's out with his frat, called "Triangle", and they're out doing something special. I'm stuck at the dorms for three days not doing anything. I think I will just stay here, sleep, watch depressing stuff, cry, and then do my school stuff. Let me see, what has happeend in the past few days. I got my schedule and I shall post that up sometime. I took a psychology class and it seems to be very interesting. On thursday, we were shown a video about how some dude got a rod shot through his head. There was a video about how a doctor could reach from one side of his head and touch his fingers on the other side. It was really fake as you can figure out by the doctor's hand being behind the dude's head, and the camera couldn't see it. Also, it happened in the 1800's or something supposedly, so how can they have a video of it. We were supposed to see how the damage of the brain changed the man's behavior. However, during the middle of the doctor scene, a dude started having a seizure, which is kinda weird, since there wasn't much flashing lights, etc. Anyways, class was dismissed. Every day, i have class to around 6 ish. I don't start that early most of the time, unlike last semester. I think i shall put off writing about greyhound again. I'll be playing some computer game to make myself feel better.

Sunday- 1/12/03 - 2:23 AM. I think it's about that time when I change the format of this section. I think that this has basically become a section of it's own. Let's start off with what's happened recently, since I still have that stuff fresh on my mind. Yesterday, when I got back to my dorm, I checked my voicemails and I got this message about a sweepstakes. This is what is sounds like, "Hi, this is Mike (something) from (something that sounds like Miami May... it could be from sallie may, which seems more plausible, and i did register there, anyways) and I have GREAT news regarding your sweepstake entry. Please call me at 18005163183." Now this seems kinda weird. I never really won anything before. The most recent thing that I recall winning was in like 3rd grade. It was basically a drawing for all these different prizes in the front of the auditorium. There were hundreds of gifts. I got a set of these markers which were scented and smelled like fruit. When i asked if people wanted to smell them, they were like no, it's not good to sniff markers. I learned that sniffing markers got you high. I didn't smell them that much anymore. Looking back, I had a pretty good chance of winning anyways, since there were tons of stuff that were given away, and there wasn't THAT many students. Well, those markers didn't get me high, cause they were meant for smelling, and so, they're wrong! Once I almost won the draw 4 lottery when I was nine. My mom wanted to buy one and I chose the numbers. I was off by 1 number. Chose 2 instead of 4. Anyways, I had a dream last night where I won something. I basically got a nice car, and all I had to do to keep it was drive it around. Then I woke up. I went to sleep around midnight and woke up around 4 pm. Lots of sleep. I tell you, i'm on a 36 hr day schedule. Anyways, if this isn't a hoax, it will be quite an interesting deal. I tried to call but no one picked up. The second time, was today after 4, and the sweepstakes center is closed after 4 pm on satudays. I wonder what will happen when i call on monday. Let's see, I came back to west lafayette on friday, I left thursday the 9th. I'll put up tips for riding it sometime. I had an idea that i thought would be kinda cool. I was doing some pointless thinking on the bus, and I thought it would be really cool to get some signed autographs of celebrities. But I thought it would be even better if they signed them on photos or something. I kept working with photos and I thought of something really cool. You send celebrities some disposable cameras (each celebrity should get no more than one). You write a note saying that it would be really cool if they would use up the camera, by taking photos of themselves, surroundings, or whatever, and send them back. You would, of course, include a self addressed, stamped box, or some envelope so that it could be sent to a developing center and then the the pictures sent to you. Or, you could also have a copy sent to the celebrity. The thing that would kind of be weird is sending a package to a celebrity. It could be assumed as a bomb or something, so you would have to make it so that it wouldn't look like a bomb package (however that works). The problem is that it would cost you some money. I figure around 30 bucks or so, including development. Still, it would be worth it, if it worked. If anyone does it, can you tell me how it goes? I think I might eventually, if i can plan it out better. I'm gonna stop here for now. I wanna play nightfire.

Friday- 1/3/03 - 7:11 PM. Well, it the start of the new year, and it sux. Seriously. I mean what the FUDGE. Today i was asleep until 2 pm. I wake up and I shoveled snow. The snow was already around a half a feet or even more. I had to do it myself because my brother's back was out of wack. I wanted to hang out with Andrew and so, I called him. We went around ithaca to see if there was any jamacian ginger beer around because it's good. However, all we found was ginger ale. We decided to watch some Ranma 1/2 (anime) and I wanted to get some food because i didn't eat any at all for the whole day. We decided to go to the ithaca bakery even though it was still snowing. It wasn't too smart of a decision, but.. eh. i thought it would be fun. However, for that to happen, i had to clear the driveway again, in order to get the car out. After dropping benji off at his house and andrew off at his, i went back home. I was going to the bathroom and then i was going to shovel the snow again. However, my dad came back from the hospital and decided to go out and yell a lot at me. I mean, what the fudge. He claims that all i do is stay home all day, watch tv, and NEVER help out at all. He's like did you even shovel the snow outside today AT ALL? YOU"RE JUST A STUPID IDIOT WHO STAYS HOME< AND NEVER DOES CRAP TO HELP OUT> WHY DO YOU EVEN GO TO COLLEGE AT ALL WHEN IT COSTS SO MUCH MONEY> LOOK AT YOURSELF ALL FAT> WHEN I TELL YOU TO GO OUTSIDE AND RUN AND COME BACK LIKE TEN MINUTES LATER< LAZY!  I COME HOME FROM DOING STUFF ALL DAY< AND I HAVE TO SHOVEL THE STUPID SNOW TOO> I go outside, too pissed off to speak, and start shoveling the snow again. He comes out a bit later and decides to yell some more. YOU MOM IS IN THE HOSPITAL AND I"M WORRIED THAT YOU GUYS DON"T HAVE ANYTHING TO EAT< AND I DRIVE BACK IN THE SNOW FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES JUST TRYING TO SEE IF YOU ARE ALRIGHT AND I HAVE TO SHOVEL SNOW???? YOU GO TO COLLEGE AND I PAY SO MUCH MONEY AND YOU DON"T HELP OUT AT ALL! At this point, i'm really pissed off and i say that i've shoveled the snow before. He says NO YOU HAVENT YOU LIAR> DON"T YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE KNOWN IF YOU SHOVELED BEFORE? I KNOW WHAT THE WEATHER IS LIKE!!!!!! I don't know anymore and i don't really care. Is it worth coming back to ithaca and hearing them tell me how fat I am and how i should run every day and other abuse, is it really worth it? How about even being alive. I don't know. Being alive is basically being through one big hardship, with bits of peace and quite in between, but is it worth the pain?

Wednesday 12/11/2 - 4:42 AM. FRESCA ROCKS. IT'S THE BEST DRINK EVER. Hmm, it's always hard to start a journal entry. I mean, what can you start off with and then continue to possibly rant about. Let me start out with what has happened somewhat recently. My first semester of the first year of college is, well, somewhat over now. I took my first final on monday. Today, i have a final in french and tomorrow, one in computer science. I'm not too worried about my comp sci too much, same with my french. The thing was my calc exam, and I crammed hard for it. Crammed like a mofo. I should be studying for french at the moment, but I have arleady for a while and I feel i must write. I write mainly to get some of the tension off my back (or should it be chest)? Anyways. French, I think i have a C in that class. Perhaps i'm wrong. The tests are sometimes difficult because of the listening part being all hard to hear, and how I can't understand participles and which to use sometimes. The other problem is that well, my teacher is just really picky. CS, i have no idea what the deal is. I seem to do way better than average on the exams, but for the projects that I hand in, i always get a low grade. A lot of the times I don't get a grade at all because the stupid progie won't compile on the grader's side. I wish they could provide debuggers and java code exes for us to use instead of going to the unix lab station. It makes it hard cause I hafta walk a freakin mile and it's not open during the nite a lot of times. Why cant' they provide service to the students whom buy the books and stuff. It also doesnt' help that that I have windows xp with the whole java disageement with sun microsystems. I really don't care too much anymore. I ponder a lot of times if this is what i want to be doing. I also wonder why I am here. I mean, could everything here be just an illusion to me, and that I'm actually in this long and sequenced dream state. I had a dream this one time where I basically lost everything, I had no idea what to do or where to go. I feel kind of lonely in this place. I'm not necessarily longing for my family. I mean, we both know what will happen. They'll yell and bitch about things that i really do not want to talk about and then i get all pissy and hurt myself. If not in one way, then another. I've been hurting my self here. I eat too much. I've gained like 15 pounds since I got here, I think. It could have inclined since near the date of my departure from ithaca. I ate more and although I exercised, I didn't do it too much. Here, I don't do too much exercising except for walking a lot. It doesn't help that they offer double bacon cheeseburgers here for lunch at the cafeterias. I can still fit into my pants. I think during my senior year, I got really fat or something. I don't think i could fit into these pants I have. What is wrong with me. Alex Reeves has decided to push me a bit into exercising. I've been doing some pushups every once in a while. I recently wrote an article for him about how and why I hate asians. His website. The article won't be there for a while, but check his site, he has some pretty weird stuff there. I promised I'd link to him. I think I might do a total reorganization of this website during the break. At least, make it some what more readable and easier to access links and other parts of the whole site. It looks crappy right now anyways. I'm not saying that it will happen all at once. Just maybe a little bit at a time. Okay, let's get back to the issue and away from the tangent. For a while now, i've been thinking that well, I want to perhaps pursue a career that helps people, such as a doctor. But that takes 8 years of school and lots of money. I don't know. Then there's the comedic route that I always thought would be an interesting. Be someone like Steve Martin. He's one cool dude. You could say he's one of my idols. He does comedy and he also learned a lot about philosophy. Computer science is a good profession and all, but well, i feel like i need to help. I just feel my life is useless and pointless. I have been very down lately. Sometimes my mood hasn't stooped or anything. However, there are times when it's fine. I don't understand what the deal is. I should not be this unhappy. I'm going back to ithaca this friday, since all my finals will be finished on thursday. I have to ride the greyhound. I have to crossover five different times and it's going to be a long trip. About 24 hours. I think the thing i miss most is being able to hang around with my friends. I'm just so lonely here. There are people i've made friends with. Well, let's take my roomie for example. He's, well, he's a jock. He used to play soccer during high school. Apparently he's good at it since he has a trophy. He's going to join a frat and he parties a lot. He comes back all messed up at like 3 in the morning, laughing and shouting. It's amusing, to say the least. He is also a ladies's man. He has so many of them and a lot of them are hot. I bet i know what you're thinking. I should hook up and such. Let me tell you, I'm a big ol' wuss. Not to mention that I would like things to possibly work out between me and Erica. I was planning to call her up after I get back, but I'll probably end up wussing out as usual. The thing is that I have no guts. It's really hard for me to do anything. I not much of a man, am i? The rest of the floor in my dorm hall is pretty much the same way. Most of them are jock-like and such. A lot of them smoke, aren't into anime, party all the time, and aren't much in tune with technology. I kind of wish there was someone whom I could possibly relate to around here. I did lend this one dude some of my anime. He is korean, and he would be cool to talk to kind of, but he's all into azn stuff and all that and i was like okay... no. Just put me out of this misery. Would anyone notice if I wasn't here anymore? I mean, would I not being born make any difference? I have been watching movies and anime and such to keep me busy and my mind occupied. I know that if I sit down and be frank with myself, I might just not like that person.

Sunday 11/17/2 - 6:15 AM. We (the people of Indiana) are now back in sync with the rest of the eastern coast of the united states. I am now offically declare that i can have a MMR shot without the consent of upper authority. whoopee. Let's see, what has happened so far. I'm surprised if anyone still cares. I got a mad hangover on my anniversary birth. Too much, and too early. I drank too much rum at 7:30 AM and well, i didn't feel too good for a long time. I only drank to celebrate one thing, i guess. Ugh, tastes like crap. Oh, I threw up like every 40 minutes. It was something that my stomach like to do, and it seemed to time itself pretty well. Anything that went down came up. ANYTHING. Not even liquids. Isn't this a fun and exciting story for you to read, and waste your time with. Let's see... changing the topic, I went to the bowling alley that they have at purdue, and it was interesting. NOt that i bowled or anything. I found this game called "Dance Dance Revolution 2". It's one of those games that you might have seen on the tele and basically there are arrows that you have to step on, and a screen tells you which one. It's a very hard game cause i don't quite have the hang of it yet. On that stupid machine, there's this warning, but for some FREAKING REASON IT"S IN JAPANESE. The rest of the game is in ENGLISH, but the warning isn't. I kinda pulled my knee on the machine there. When it happened, it hurt like heck. It took about four days to heal, and well, it still hurts a bit. I should play it when i'm wearing good shoes, not some crappy ones. Found out that maria has it for the psx. That's weird. Someone should buy the machine. Then play it. It would be coo', but perhaps expensive. Past tuesday, I decided to get my shots taken cause i couldn't before, since it would require much obtaining (coughFORGINGcough) of signatures. I was too lazy, you know me, if i must exert effort, then it's probably not worth it, and so i just waited a few days and came back. I got 2 vaccine shots, an MMR (mumps measles, and rubella) and a tetanus one. They took the tetanus shot, and basically jammed it into my left arm muscle. It hurt for many a days. It doesn't hurt now. How do i know? I just checked. I also got a tetanus skin shot, which, if a bump appears bigger than so big (1 cm i think) then you have tetanus, but not necessarily infected with it. Guess what. The freaking bump is like 2.5 cm big. It's so itchy. It's like 2 cm now, and it still itches like crazy. I had to get some x-rays on friday, and the xray violated me. It took pictures of me naked, well, half naked, and that's still not a pretty sight. I'm supposed to go in on monday to see what the deal is. I've been pretty moody lately. I have periods of different kinds of feelings. Sometimes, I feel alright, but sometimes i feel extremely depressed, and stupid. I hate how my moods change and all that, I kinda wish that i could stay the same jolly self. The pills didn't seem to do that much for me, reflecting back upon it. I'm almost done with this semester of college. I have 15 days of it left. That's more like 12, cause i only have 1 class on tuesdays. My schedule is still around on the website. It's linked a few posts down. I have 3 exams. French, Math, and Computer Sci. I need to study for those, but i'll do that during the week where nothing happens, but studying. I need to learn the GUI commands for java. Math, i hafta think about the tricky word problems. And french, well that's gonna be a mofo. I hate french. It's so pointless. The three languages that will be practical for people will be (well, ENGLIGH, but that's a given so that doesn't count), spanish, and maybe chinese and japanese. English is an universal language. If you don't know it, well you shouldn't be looking at this site, eh? Spanish is because well, look how many spanish/latino people are around. a jillion. Well, not that much. Illegal immigrants... cheap labour... all require the language of spanish. :-D. Same deal with the chinese people. Japanese is useful for, most importantly, anime, and then maybe for the their technology. French is useless. What the heck do we need from those people? Their food? Ha. Their culture? Their culture SUX. I don't even care for learning it. Their hard R's are awful to pronounce. I'm getting allergic to things again. I need to start taking my allergy pills. Oh, i'd like to end this entry with a small anecdote. On my floor, there is this big fat azn. He is friends with my roomie for some reason. He generally comes in, without announcing himself, being disruptive and such. One day, he starts to roughhouse with my roomie and since it's in the room (which is extremely small, might i add), I try to stop the fight by saying stop fighting, it looks wrong. Being the stupid azn self that he is, he takes a deck of card. I have a couple of decks of card that I use for practicing my throwing. I'm getting better at it. Anyways, he leaves the deck in the hall. If it was a person of any other race than azn, i probably would have let it go. But i didn't. I was also in one of my weird moods. Kind of depressed, pissy, and all that in one. I took the deck, and threw the cards all over in his room. Well, being the stupid person he is, he comes back and orders me to be in his room by 1 min to pick up the cards. I kept time, and after a few minutes, he comes back. He opens my window and throws the remainng deck of cards out the window. Ha. I bet i caused him to do more exercise in those moments than the whole week. I'm serious, he's extremely fat. I know i'm pretty fat myself, but it's like 2 of me in this body. I should of done more, but i was tired, and I just wanted to sleep. Next time, if he even touches me, i'm gonna give him a shiner. The thing is that if he ever decides to "tell" on me, i have the huge upper hand. He tried to steal my stuff. I decided to give what he wanted to him. He then proceeds to steal more stuff and vandalize them, not to mention littering. I could also bring that up if he does anything. Man, this asian just pisses me off. One look of him, i feel like taking a hot poker and start stabbing it thru his big belly. Afterwards, it would go through the ribs, from one side to the other. Man, ASIANS FREAKIN PISS ME OFF. Oh, if anyone is trying to access the huge yatta mpg that available on my website, it's no more. Big Brother took it off and gave me a warning saying it's illegal, even though it's NOT.

Friday 10/25/2- 12:08 AM.  I was going to just put this in my AOL instant messenger profile, but, well, I was thinking that I might as well write it in here, knowing that the word limit would probably limit what I have to say. So today, I was trying to get home from a CS lab. It was too cold for me to walk all the way back to the dorm (i only had some non-warm clothing on, typical me, ha) so I decided to wait at a bus stop. There was this asian dude just standing there, looking at me. He wasn't being very clever about being discreet. In fact, he was the extreme opposite discreet. Ha. It kind of freaked me out, and made me uncomfortable, not to mention that since i don't like asians too much anyways. After thing about it for a coupla minutes, he decides to ask me a question. "(in asian accent) So, you are asian?" Gee. I wonder. DO I LOOK ASIAN????????? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING???? After saying that I am, he asks if i was chinese. I said probably, being difficult on purpose. "Where are you from?" "New York?". Where are you from originally? I know he was trying to figure out if i was chinese or not. if i was like my brother and was born in NY, i could say NEW YORK. I threw him a small bone. I said china somewhere. "Me too! Woa sher jong guoa ren (english translation: i'm a chinese feller)." That made me just want to punch his lights out. What the heck are you doing? WHY SPEAK CHINESE? WHY WHY WHY???????!!!!!!!! I declined to speak to him in chinese, or at all afterwards. I know that's kind of mean, but still, he was being stupid. I had to get that out of the way. Lately, i have been feeling very down. Normally i feel somewhat down as it is, you know, but well, i just feel really sad lately. Maybe because i'm kind of disappointed about how i'm doing in some of my classes. In cs, i've gotten some 0's on my projects because they didn't run correctly. They are really strict about grading. I saw what i did wrong, and it was like 2 freakin typos. That pisses me off. I can't run java programs (that i create) on my comp. It's weird that way. Other than that, college life is okay. There are some weird people that visit the campus every so often. There was this one dude, he was saying how college is evil, and is the devil or somethin. What he claimed was that the girls were very "loose" and are going to hell, not to mention all the frat boys here. For some reason, he was a christian and hated catholics. Every time a plane flew over head, he would take his bible and put his hand over it, forming something that kind of resembled a cross. He was a very big homophobe. Some people tried to hug him (mostly guys), and he would do the cross thing and try to escape. College life is a new and different. I need something to do, or to perhaps some girl to hang out with. Lately, i've been training to throw playing cards with skill, accuracy, distance, and power. I'm kinda gettin the hang of it. I plan to create a website about it when i get some free time. Like lots of free time. I've been doing different things on and off, and well, i shall stop cause i keep loosing my train of thought. Till next time.

Sunday 10/13/2- 7:05 PM. Some where over the rain bow, way up high, and the dreams that you dream once in a lullaby. There was some stuff that I was going to start out with but well... i forgot. I have slept almost all of the day and i'm still feeling the effects of drowsiness. As of this moment, well a few seconds ago, there was this girl screaming and getting all hyper and laughing and stuff. Reminds me of some girls :-D. Oh wait, there she goes again. I had an interesting conversation with Chia a few days ago. He kind of made me realize why I'm kind of screwed in the head, though i beg to differ from his opinion. Anyways, you can figure it out for yourself. The youngest thing I really remember is my head feeling funny. Like I bumped it really ahrd or something. I wanna say i headbutted the wall or something, but i don't think that's correct. Okay, the next one. In hasbrook apartments, before they had the third floor and the outside walls that don't have any places to climb... I used to climb up these walls that were there... cause I lived there.. and I never really climbed very high. One day, I did, and i guess the the bricks were somewhat loose, and i fell to the ground. It was like maybe 7 feet or so, but well, to a 4 or 5 year old child, it was a lot. I was bleeding in the unmentionable parts as well. I hurt my head. I used to climb trees a lot. I still do sometimes. But there was this one time where I lost my footing and my hands weren't anchored to anything, and I fell down to the un-soft ground. It was painful. The other time, i fell down head first towards the ground, and I knew that hurt a lot. Also during my time in ithaca when i was really young, i learaned to ride the bicycle. It wasn't an easy task, and it took me a long time to get used to it. I recall many bruises and scraps on my self. After I learned successfully, I always tried to ride my babysitter's bike. (side note, there was this weird lookin azn girl that just came into my dorm dressed in all baggy clothes. She just stood there for a few seconds, and then left. Darn asians, i wanna stab em in the head, either that or knock em unconscience for a while. Maybe she's the one giggling uncontrollably, but i'm not sure. i'm not gonna find out. that would require effort... you know... effort... too difficult... mghaaa) My babysitter was this old asian dude. He had those big ol' bikes for like racers, but not very technologically advanced. It was just high and the pedals hard to reach. Anyways, I used to ride it all the time and I used to get cut all the time as well. It didn't help the fact that I liked to ride bikes down stairs and all this other silly stuff, which only added to the danger. I never wore a helmet either. I didn't know what those were anyways. In florida, I used to bike a lot as well, and trying to perform stunts, such as riding with no hands and rising up on the pedals, and moving around with no hands as well. That wasn't an easy task, and I got bruised as well. The old dirt roads were evil, cause there were always loose gravel, and loose gravel hurts really bad. Oh, once in florida, some dude at my school, punched me in the stomach for no real reason. He actually was one of my friends, and it was a random thing. It hurt. I asked him why he did that, and he said it was just for fun, and that i could punch him back. I was like okay... and i was going to punch him in the stomach. However, he said not in the stomach. Looking back, it didn't make too much sense, but well, since i was a person whom never really argued with people much, I punched him in the shoulder, where it didn't hurt much. In the summer of '01, i was in Utah with some of my friends. One time, we were playing this game where we were in these weird suits, with heads Velcro-ed to the top of the suit. We were then given these poles that looked like cotton swabs, but a lot bigger. The object of the game was to knock the head off the opponent. Nice and non violent, no? Okay, anyways, I was charging at my friend, and he did used the pole and flipped me on my back. It was pretty skillful. The floors were concrete, which was weird, since they shouldn't have been. Anyways, I hit my head really hard against the concrete and passed out. Apparently it was just for a few seconds, and when i regained senses, I didn't know what was going on, but my head really hurt. Like someone put a mark on me and some gangsters were trying to kill me with a bat... okay, that's just an exaggeration. There was one time when I was falling backwards to lie down on some pillows, and this fireplace suddenly teleported to where my head would be, and knocked me out again. It was made of stone, and hurt like heck. All through middle school and high school, i somewhat jousted with my friends. Andrew used to hurt me pretty good. It was painful, but i built up a tolerance to it by having many bruises on my arm. Victor used to punch me a lot as well. He punched harder back then. I was riding this bike once, and going past Ludgates, and noticing that the fields were covered with snow. I thought that it would be cool to try to ride over it, thinking mentally that the snow would be soft and let me do it. I charged towards the snow, and instead of going through the field, I landed on top of the snow, with my bike next to my head. Apparently, the snow stopped the bike, and I flipped over the handles. The bike got screwed, and I eventually fixed it again. The last thing I remember that was really stinkin painful was that I was riding someone else's bike, with wickedly good brakes. I was going down an incline, perhaps going a max of 7 mph. Anyways, I hit the breaks really hard, and well, you know that's not a good thing. I hurt myself pretty bad, not to mention screwing up the bike somewhat. Let's see. That about wraps it up. I have never broken a bone in my body, only hurt myself a lot. Quick asian bashing: there's this dude in my hallway, he's... well, he's a portly fella, and he comes into my dorm to "converse" with my roomie. However, he just stands there. He doesn't even talk to any much. Also he seems to be somewhat egotistic. He blocks people's way without worry or care. He blocked my way to my computer a few times, and when i say excuse me, he like just stands there dumbfounded. WTF get out of the stinkin way, ho! Okay. I just got this book recently, entitled, "Cards as Weapons". I think i shall put up a page pertaining to it soon. The book was an relatively expensive find. I say this because it was expensive, but not as expensive as other places I found. I'm obsessed with desert eagles at the moment. They're AWESOME. I'd like to hold one and eventually shoot it. But just looking, staring, and holding it would be awesome in itself. Here's two things that would be interesting for a football game. The first would be a straegy play. It would this, you would line up your players so that you could step on top of em without too much pain. Then you could do the stunt that jim carey pulls off in "The Cable Guy". The second would be to bring a radio freq scanner, and pick up the coaches' radio transmissions. That could benefit both team... unless the signals are encrypted.
What has happened these past weeks? Let's see. I've been sleeping a lot. I have some days where i feel fairly depressed, so I just sleep it off. I sleep during school as well. My english teacher... wow is he not supposed to be an english teacher. He can't even find the right words to say, like mentalitment rather than mentality. He talks about china a lot, which makes me want to knock him unconscious. CS... i don't really bother paying attention there. I just fall asleep and stuff. Math, i just turn in my hw and leave. Sometimes, my friend makes me stay, cause he won't turn in my hw for me. So i fall asleep there as well. French, it is just stupid. I'm not learning anything, and all we do is stupid, busiwork stuff. I realized on friday how not sleeping really screws me up. We had a substitute teacher on friday, and she asked the question, "How do you say, "this sucks" in french?". I decided to just shout out the french equivilent of "fuk-n". Either she didn't hear me or she decided to ignore me. Anways, what made me shout out such a word? Was i high? nope. I mean, come on, nian, you have more sense than that. I don't know, i need to control my though process more when my sleepy side takes over. Why then haven't I updated my journal and stuff recently, if i have that much time? Well, first, the effort issue comes into play. Then, recently, my host has decided that the yatta mpg (the 100 meg one) was "illegal" and gave me a warning. They then proceeded to screw up all of my links for my website, meaning I hafta reconstruct it all. That took a while since i was lazy so i just reuploaded everything. However, the ftp connection from here to australia isn't the best, so i get like only 1k /s or so. Very slow. No warnings left, so i hafat be careful, or well, all this will come to waste. Benji is pressuring me to finish this rambling, as in to wrap it up so he can read it. Eh, I was gonna say something about having some weird dreams. I don't remember them quite well anymore anyways, so I guess this is a good of a place as any. Until next update, this should keep you entertained for a while.

Sunday 9/8/02- 3:37 AM. Is it me or do I like to stay up late or something? I am such a clumsy boy. During the summer, I lost my retainer once at Purity's and it went in the trash by mistake. I went digging and i finally found it. I decontaminated it for half a day before wearing it again. Guess what, the thursday before last entry, i lost my retainer again. However, this time, it was in a much bigger trash can. I put it in my tray and threw it out into one of those like 20 gallon cans. Guess what i did for about 45 minutes. No, i didn't cry like a sissy. I put on some gloves, and had fun diggin thru oodles and oodles of disgusting bits and pieces of food. I did eventually find it, at the bottom of the can. Bleh. I soaked that mofo in mouthwash (minty, mind you) for a few days. After I felt better, I put in my mouth. It was heavily minted. I've missed a day of school so far. I overslept. I really should stop doing that. It's not good. I should really wake up on time and sleep when it's dark. I met some hot girls today, curtsey of my roomie, and one of em reminded me of this girl in ithaca... named ashley. Which ashley? You'll hafta ask me, in order for me to tell you. E-mail me. Mwahahahaha. Launch Octopus.... mawhahahahahhahahahahhah (product/company/band placement). Very random indeed. I haven't taken zolft for a while. I keep forgetting. Let's see. There's nothing much to do here. I'm bored a lot. I went to 2 frats today. one had only a band and it was kinda sucky. The other had tons of boozaroo but everyone wanted some and it was mad humid down there. Oh, this one chinese dude pissed off one of the frat boys .He was like the only other asian there. The frat dude told the bartenders not to give him the cough syrup. Since the bartenders (and i'm using this term loosely) were drunk, they wouldn't give me any either. I FREAKIN HATE ASIANS. THEY GIVE THE PASSIVE AND THE ASIANS WHO DON"T LIKE OTHER ASIANS BAD NAMES!!!! FREAKIN PISSIN ME OFF. FEEL LIKE TAKING A BIG SOLD CHUNK OF REALLY FROZEN ICE (MAYBE DRY ICE)< FORMING IT INTO A DAGGER< OR PERHAPS A KUKRI AND STABBING HIM IN THE FREAKIN HEAD SEVERAL TIMES REPEATEDLY. The ice part is so no one would know it was me, cause it would evaporate after a bit. And no evidence too.* EVIL LAUGH* Unfortunately, i don't know the dude's name, and i prolly wouldnt' be able to recognize him. Stupid idiot. He needs a good beat down. Let's see... when i went to the atm and withdrew some cash, afterwards when walking back to the dorm, I saw this big @res grasshopper jumping on the black asphalt. It was coming towards me in a haphazard type way. I thought we were gonna intersect each other. However, even tho it was going really fast, it suddenly stopped. I heard this loud *ting* noise. Guess what, the silly hopper jumped directly into a pole. It was really funny. I was laughing pretty hard, and the grasshopper was just standing (?) there not moving. It took me a little while to get over it but it was funny. Another funny thing today. Actually, more stupid than funny. Andy was watching dog eat dog, a weird little contest show type deal. Anyways, the host asked this mad easy question, "What is the largest country in the americas?" Guess what she said! And I quote, " Um... asia?" Geez. It was some girl. Guess what, she was a brunette. Ouch. What was she smokin? I guess that's all for now, folks. I put up a new section called "comedy" but i haven't done anything with it yet. I will sometime another... you know me... and my laziness. Anyhoot, peace.

Friday 8/30/02- 4:48 AM. Like i said to some people, i would actually do this before the week is done. Anyways, i've been caught up. Let me see how i can continue where i left off. Ahhh yesh. WOWNET. Okay, after Andrew told me about the place, we decided to check it out. After school, we really didn't have much to do except watch our anime series and renting some movies and going to the movies as well. When going to the movies, we would stop at Electronics Boutiques. One day, on their xbox, they had "Knockout Kings 2002". It was fun cause the players would really go at it. Andrew and i played it a lot. Later, we cut a deal (the first of many) with WOWNET where if we bought the game, they would give us hours in return. We did that with EB gift cards, and extra controllers as well. We would also play Halo, and try to beat it co-op. After beating it, we decided we were good enough to challenge our archnemesis (well maybe not arch-) Benji and Andy. They beat the game a few days before we did, and they were the first ones who did it. After our first multiplayer match, we tried to get together and fight against each other as much as possible. In fact, WOWNET created HALO-nite where people pay 5 bucks and can play Halo as much as you want, as long as you win. :-D (it lasts for 2 hrs). It's not really on their calendar and stuff but it should when the college semester starts a bit. Yeah. Um, there was something else I was going to say about it, but I'm kind of distracted by the movie playing in the background. Oh yeah, i member, if you think i'm lying, you can ask one of the 2 managers there. After a while, I got pretty bored cause well, people were away doing stuff. Erica was in las vagas for a bit, so was kate. Andy went kyacking with his family for a few weeks. Benji was busy promoting his movie fest held at wownet. So, Andrew and I went kyacking for a few days Cayuga Lake, renting from the Cornell Outdoor Education. It was 60 bucks for 3 days. Anyways, it was pretty fun. Out of just about everyone, I had to leave the earliest for college. I left on like the 13th. (of this month). When I left for "Day on Campus" for Purdue, I had the right sense to buy some fireworks in indiana. I set them off back and ithaca, and it was pretty cool. Hehhheheheh... fire heheheh. Ah, okay, let's see. That's kind of the extent of my summer break. When I arrived in West Lafayette, I moved in. The next day, my parents left, and I finally got to talk to my roomie. He's a pretty cool dude, and guess what his name is. It's "Andrew" but he prefers to be called "Andy". How weird is that. After the first day here, I met up with Lori and she showed me around the place. I saw mr. snow here, and that was interesting. Today, is the last day of my 2nd week of classes. You can see my schedule here. It's weird. First of all, I have to mention that my Eng 102 teacher (well, he's a student here, but not really a ta) is ASIAN. ARHG!!! THAT PISSES ME OFF. I"M SORRY BUT I"M ANGRY!!!!!! His grammar isn't really correct most of the time, and he has a heavy accent. Oh, he also talks about his home country (China) all the time. As well, he keeps looking at me when he's talking. It's kind of freaky. It's weird. Let's see.. my cs180 is really boring. I'm not learning anything in any of my classes at all. Math 165 is fun cause the teacher is awesome. Even though he's asian (definatly a big minus) his humor is kind of like mine, very random, silly, and violent (like if you don't do your hw, i'll stab you all, not violent as in mean) at times. He is japanese, and has an accent, but he doesn't care if we skip class and stuff, as long as we know the stuff, and turn in the hw. I do the hw, and I play games during class. No, not calculator games, laptop games. I have a laptop... btw, if you didn't know already. It's a DELL Inspiron 2650. I know, we all hate that dude who goes, "DUDE you're gettin a dell!" I got a wireless card and router for it for like 180. I need a cd burner. I don't want to pay like 30 bucks for a freakin "interactive" (being sarcastic) french cd. I would rather burn copy and save myself like 28 bucks. My french teacher is also a student here, her major is french, and she's from morocco. She speaks french during the class, which is really annoying, and when she trys to speak english, she has a heavy accent and she becomes difficult to understand. Basically, she's incoherant all of the time, no matter what language she speaks. :-D. Last Saturday, my roomie invited me to a frat party. I had a just a smidge too much to drink and well, i became drunk for the first time. It was weird. I lost a lot of inhibitions, such as being shy. I also danced some. The next day, i felt really sick and i also threw up. I don't think i'm gonna drink anymore. Man, there's a lot of hot girls here. I know supposedly there's nothing between me and erica, but um... for some reason i think i like her and can't get over her... i didn't get to say a proper goodbye cause i left so early. I tried calling her a few times, but was never able to reach her. Wow, it's like six thirty now. Heh, i'm watching a movie, checkin out www.fark.com and as well as writing this. Why didn't i sleep? I was watching the Hand Maid May series. Purdue Anime Club was today (er... yesterday) and it was hard to find. It's not nearly as good as CJAS but what can one do? It's small, cramped, and located on the 4th floor. Oh, here's my card. It looks pretty wicced eh? Oh, on my website, there are a lot of stuff that are semi hidden, such as pages for chia, my prom pics, and some old freeware games. Heh, try to find em if you can. MAWHWHWHW *EVIL LAUGH* Peace out, until i can remember some other stuff to say. I'll try to update frequently, and stuff, but no promises. Benji is getting rid of his subdomain, and i'm giving one to phil at thefreezer.thejollycompany.com. If 20 *different* people email me to put my prom pics up, just might.

Sunday, 8/18/02- 7:23 AM. Heh, Looking back on my previous journal entry, i am sort of in a mood of awe. Have I really been this lazy as to not have updated this domain at all for over 2.2 months? That's kinda funny. Well, for me anyways. As i recall, i've talked to some people about the layout of this "live journal" page, and most people say that it's pretty logical and that i shouldn't really have to change it. Heh, i'm too lazy to anyways, unless someone has a good reason to anyways. If you have any suggestions, i set up a webmail account for anyone who wishes to respond to me, but wants to do it anonymously. If you go to http://www.thejollycompany.com:2004 and use the USERID: anonymous and PASSWORD: anon , you can compose a message to me at burfthesmurf@thejollycompany.com or you can even use it to send anonymous messages to people. However, if you abuse it, well, i'll be really disappointed. I have a view of people of where they are generally good and don't abuse their privledges (too much, well some, but not that it will get anyone into trouble). Anyways, that's all i have to say about that. for now. Let's see, let me try to fill in the huge gap of what has been happening. After prom... well, school ended a few days later. Some of you might know that i obtained these "SORRY TEMPORARILY OUT OF ORDER- SERVICE MAN HAS BEEN CALLED" stickers that one might see everywhere (yes i mean it literally) at the high school, tho i don't know if most of them are still there. Anyways, during graduation, I put one on the podium after the practice ceremony ended. Heh, not too many people noticed. I guess i was lucky. Anyways, i also had one on my graduation cap. Bock was our speaker, and well, since Bock is a cool dude, the whole thing was pretty coo'. After the hot, sweaty, and long ceremony, i had to leave ithaca and travel to this little place in Indiana called West Lafayette. What exactly is there you might ask? Well, there's a college called Purdue University. I had to register and all this other crap that took a whole day, so that everything would be organized before school actually began (which is today, might i add, which is also strange, cause today is a sunday). I have class from 2:30 to 4:30 (today). It's like a science orientation or something that all frosh have to go to, i think. Anyways, back to the time table. Um, i bought some fireworks and then lit em off back in ithaca about a week after i got back, which is basically a tad bit more than two weeks (total in including the time before I lit em off). When I got back, I had to watch and finsh this anime series that andrew and i ordered from ebay, titled "GTO (Great Teacher Onizuka)". It's pretty messed. I would say some stuff about it, but it's pretty complicated. Just look up information about it on your own time, or if you can contact me, ask me to lend you the 5 dvd box set. It's wicked funny, but it has some minor problems here and there (such as the english subs sometimes, but if you're smart enough, you'll figure it out). I also ordered "Excel Saga" which is also wicked funny but on sort of a different level. Same deal with this, tho it's more of the timing that is off rather than the translation. Anyways, in between watching anime, and eating with andrew i did some other things too. Infact, we hung out a lot during the summer break. So much that my mom thought there was something wrong with me. (She asked me if I was gay (which i am NOT) cause i didn't hang out with erica). I tried to hang out with her, but she was in vegas for a bit, and then i couldn't really get a hold of her. We rented a lot of movies including some guy richie movies (such as snatch) and jet li movies (such as the legend). There is also this place we found out about, called WOWNET. It's a cafe, but with other stuff such as lots of computers, 2 tv's, some pinball machines, and an xbox.

Sunday, 6/9/02- 5:40 AM. How now, brown cow? I just came back from the prom. Yeah, you might be sayin, at this hour????? We rented a limo for 5 hrs. from the 12 - 5 timeslot. Cost like 110 bucks per person. My date is/was Erica. It was pretty cool. I saw her dance recital and she and Kate did some fancy dance routines. Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been trying to get everythin in order, like the tux, corsage, and final projects. Yeah... um .. after the recital, I went to Kate's house to wait for Erica and Kate to take a shower and dress up. They looked awesome, especially Erica... who was hot as usual. I met everyone's parents (except Andy and Moses 's). The girls took a while to get ready, so when we left, it was like 10:30 already. When we got there, it was almost 11, and we only stayed for like an hour. I got to put my arms around her for a song, which was pretty nice... and mingle... or whatever you would call it. At around 12 ish, we went into our 16 person limo, and the people who were in it were Ben RH, Kate, Erica, Leah, Moses, Andy, Annie, Anastasia, Me, and believe it or not, Weston. We went to IHOP to get some foods, and the driver got lost trying to find it. That's okay though, the driver was pretty awesome. I don't remember his name, but he was pretty nice and pretty darn cool as well. On Friday, I had some chocolate covered coffee beans, which tasted awesome, but I gave most of it away. On Wednesday, I brought my dog to school for show and tell for AP Lang. For the first 3 periods, it was in my car, and then it was in my backpack until the end of 6th. I did bring him out a lot, so it's not considered cruelty. Anyways, I guess that's enough of my ramblings for now. All I can say is that for some strange reason, all I can think of in my head is Erica, which is fairly strange. It's almost like I'm obsessed over how i like her... I'd do something drastic, but I don't have the guts. Maybe one of these days this week. My relationship with her is kind of strange as well. I don't know what to call it, all i know is that it's not near the relationship between Kate and Andy. I'm kinda envious. Then again, she's only my prom date, and i shouldn't be expecting too much and getting my hopes up too high...Or somethin to that effect.  I've just created a site for Julian at www.thejollycompany.com/crazyedgar/ which is where a mp3 that his band created (called crazy edgar)  is located for people to listen to. Have fun, I will probably update this periodically or whatever... bleh. Ooooh, i have prom pictures, but i'm pretty lazy, so i won't load em up quite yet. I also made a short quicktime video with my camera. I look silly (oh wait, I look silly all the time).
*1:39 PM. Just found out my friend Ken Caswell died on wednesday. I'm kinda sad. Going to his funeral soon. I'm still wearing my tux... i look funny. I'm having an interesting conversation with benji, just so you know... er um yea... That's my update... i guess.

Wednesday, 5/1/02- 8:52 PM. Man, I feel all warm and tingly inside :-P. I finally realized why my mom is moody these past few weeks. I can't believe it was so obvious that I didn't realize it already. PMS. I know, it sounds childish and all that, but apparently it's true since she's been having these weird mood swings and I remember my brother mentioning that he found blood on the toilet seat. No, that's not the reason for me to feel warm and tingly. Am I going to tell you? Maybe. Oh, My hair is now red-orangish. I tried bleaching my hair, but even with 2 applications, this is how it turned out. I'll have a picture of it when I feel like it. If you didn't know already, I have a stats page at http://www.thejollycompany.com/stats . Yea. You know, you can get to this site by typing www.thejollycompany.com/myfrickinjournal , right? Heh. I've been kind of out of it for a few days since I keep forgetting to take my meds. The shrink says that it's almost clear that I'm manic depressive and slightly obsessive compulsive. However, they are hesitant to declare the former. Supposedly, the aren't allowed to declare someone bi polar unless he or she is over 18. Or was it 21? I'm not sure. I don't think i'm manic depressive. Eh. Ok, next issue. You know how stocks in general have been falling? A lot of the time it is because of an overstatement/understatement of profit/deficit. I don't really what the point of overstating profits and understating deficits. I think the time that would be critical to having stocks gain is to declare that you have even more of a profit at the end, or less of a deficit. That is what happened to some companies and their stocks went up in value. Alex Reeves has a site located at http://adr25.resnet.cornell.edu . It's really weird and the reason I'm mentioning it now is so that I won't forget to later. Also, i'm talking to Alex at the moment anyways. What else... I know I had some thing else to say... oh I 'member now, read my senior supplement in the future issue of the Tattler. I know... I've been somewhat avoiding the topic... the answer is she did say yes. Now the question I predict you will ask me is "Who??? GOSH DARN IT TELL ME!!!" Heh. Words spread. You'll figure it out eventually. I'll give it a week, and if you still don't know, I'll write it down... perhaps. ;-)  . Alex is a dork. Both of 'em.

Sunday, 4/28/02- It's 9:40 PM. I'm sorry, it's again been a while. I've been having mental problems and I've also just been really lazy. For the past few days, I've been wondering what my purpose in life is. Why am I alive, and why SHOULD I be alive. No one cares about me that much, would anything be different if I never existed? (By George, this is becoming like, "It's a Wonderful Life" story). Yesterday, I helped out at the Sciencecenter and I had an interesting time and a brief but interesting chat with Miss Ambis. There were some other people there, such as Miss Marino, Miss Louge, Miss Megan somethin... (she's in my homeroom), Miss Addy, and some other people. Surprisingly, I was the only guy there from 9 to 12, and I didn't notice any other males in the '02 class there, even when I left. Let's see... Sat nite, i went to CJAS (Cornell Japanese Anime Society) and stayed there till 1 am. Mista Jenkins won a prize, but he wasn't there to claim it. I saw Jin Roh, and I must say, it made me pretty sad. I didn't want people to notice, but I actually had a few tears come out during the movie. I also didn't take my meds... which might have something to do with it. I'm up to 300 mgs a day now... says the shrink, and i don't really feel much different yet. Perhaps it's because i forget to take em all the time. On a different note, i'm doing this in frontpage, and I can see a TON of underlined red words, boy that was random. Anyways, this morning, I went to Alex's house, and we hung out for a while. Benji told me who he was taking to the prom, and I must say, Benji got skilz. I'm a wuss and not very good at being my self around girls some times. Then again, I'm always crazy, insane, and stupid too. I don't know why, but I tend to feel really STOOPID a lot for no apparent reason. Perhaps there is one, but i'm just trying to mentally block it out so that I won't remember. Today, I was reading in the semi-dark and my dad just for some reason lost it. He was just btchin about some CRAP about how I can't be seriously reading at all, and how I'm a slacker, a loser, and just plain dumb. THen I left to pick up my brother. During the driving time, I don't know how many times i thought to my self that i should unbuckle my seat belt and put the pedal to the metal. Then I thought of more efficient ways of dying, such as electrocution. Man, i'm messed up. Anyways, I kinda mellowed out some, guess it's the zoloft kickin in. Can someone punch me really hard some time in the next week? I need pain, or I feel like i'm not really alive, but some zombie that no one notices much. Oh, I've been having these really strange dreams of where I ask the girl who I would like to ask to the prom, and she saying yes, but with many different, and generally unusual situations. Benji has encouraged me to ask that particular girl tomorrow, and I keep telling my self that i will. However, knowing my timidness around doing something that bold, i'll prolly end up not doing it, which isn't what I want. Anyways, my school schedule has kinda changed. I'm in Calc AB now, since I couldn't really catch up with BC cause I missed so much school. There's also the ap BIO case, in which I'm actually auditing the class now, since I have a lot of back work, and it wouldn't be possible in my condition to catch up. Plz don't mention that to anyone... i'm somewhat ashamed that I had to do audit, and that I couldn't rough it out. Ms Ridenour was and still is very kind to me, and i'm really surprised that she put up with me considering that she doesn't know the circumstances. Perhaps I should get my teachers to read this... however I still don't want my parents to find out... Oh, and Tuck, i wasn't DEVESTATED when Cornell didn't accept me, i was just really FREAKIN PISSED OFF THAT MY PARENTS REACTED THE WAY THEY DID. I'm still in Eng, and well, Miss Spanswick  is treating me really nice too. I'm not worth of such kindness and grace. I don't have to go back to NYC for a while, well, cause first of all, that Acupressurist doesn't help me AT ALL. Well, maybe that's a lie, and maybe not. I don't have migraines as much anymore, but that could also be contributed to my sleeping more. I had more to write about, but I lost my train of thought. Oh, here's a tip for parents and such... if you are angry with your son/daughter, give it a day (or at least a nite) to cool off before punishing or saying anything. Otherwise, you might regrett it. (words of advice from yours truly). Oh, I remember now, I have been working on a site that is kinda hidden. It's my yatta site at: http://www.thejollycompany.com/yatta . There a mpg that's almost 100 megs, and it's pretty cool that I can upload that size of a file... well, i'm allowed to since it's not a copyrighted clip or anythin. Anyways, I hafta end here since my parents want me to sleep. I suck at keeping my journal promises, so i don't think i'll set one up this time. Peace, and wish me luck for tomorrow (about asking that special girl).

Sunday, 3/24/02 - The time that I write this is exactly, 9:55:47 pm. I bought an "atomic watch" which sets it's self to the time that the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) broadcasts in Colorado. It was 55 bucks, and here's a link to the watch. My watch is the grey one, and it doesn't have the protruding button. Instead, I have to use a pin or somethin, you know, like those reset buttons you see everywhere, but you need to use something in order to get at it. I apologize (again) for the lack of update. I guess I am just a very lazy little boy. The NYC trips were kind of interesting. I bought a lot of lighters there (no, I don't do drugs [the bad ones (i guess this statement can be debatable)] but i just like to light stuff on fire. I'm not sexually aroused by fire, which is what the new term of pyromaniac is defined as, but just a person somewhat obsessed with fire. Fire heh heh. Er um, one of these days, i'm gonna get a voice recorder and take it with me to NYC. Why, you ask? I want to go up to some Chinese person, ask how much 20 oranges are, and record them saying, "Five dolla, five dolla." Then I could ask them other stuff and hear them say it with a Chinese accent. I know, i should do it since I'm chinese and all, but eh, i'm racist. :-P. I'm racist towards chinese people since well, there's a billion of them around me, esp where i live. Collegetown is basically chinatown. Plus, most of them are arrogant and dumb, not to mention rude a lot of the times as well. I mean, if they didn't have those qualities, I wouldn't mind them. Infact, I dislike people who are like that, no matter what origin they are from. I just pick on the chinese because, well, it's true, there's a lot of them, and i can pick on asians and it's kind of hard to call me "racist" since well, i'm chinese, and it's kinda taboo for a person to hate his or her own race (his in my case). I've been seeing my therapist for 3 times already, and I guess things are going okay, if you need to know. I still feel depressed a lot of the times, but it's not as severe. My therapist (rather, "Psychological Social Worker") says that I should play a sport or do something that takes my mind off the sadness that i have inside me (maybe get a girlfriend???? *mawhahahah [my comment]*. I try, and it works temporarily, but after a while, no matter what i do, it just starts kickin in. It's not like i want to be depressed or anything, i can't really explain it, i just feel down. It's not like i didn't get into a good college, since i got into Purdue, someone's treating me very bad, or even i don't have any freedom. I have all that, to an extent. Perhaps if i just get away from my parents for a while, it might solve a lot of things. Still i don't see a reason to be sad, but i am. Anyways, enough of this crap. Let's digress to something perhaps more "jolly". I have recently been somewhat forced to go to bed around 11 ish, and I find that i cannot fall asleep. So what i do is I listen to BBC for a while, and I practish my "English" accent. Perhaps one might call it "boorish" but hey, that's me. I think that people should start responding to my journal entries. I know that there are a few of you that visit this site every once in a while, even if i don't know who you are, i can see the get requests for the homepage. However, since i'm really lazy, and I don't feel like getting the bulliten board up on my site, i guess you can email me at comments@thejollycompany.com. I could create an email address to use if you want to respond anonymously, however, it would either be on hotmail, or i could create an e-address anon@thejollycompany.com , but you would need to know how to set up the pop3 and smtp addresses, which aren't that hard, but it would require an email program. I will set up the email account, with login and password both set to "anon" (without the quotation marks) and both the pop3 and smtp will be "mail.thejollycompany.com" but without quote again. For some people, you might have to tweak some settings, such as "always connect to this account using: local area network (LAN)". Anyways, such is the case for me (in outlook [yes, i use outlook since it is compatable with hotmail, meaning i don't have to go to www.hotmail.com every time to check my email]). Since my mom is telling me to go to bed, I shall end here. I shall probably update this journal again on Thursday night the latest. Friday, I leave for NYC AGAIN! Bah. Then the week after, Benji is leaving to visit NYU. Everyone congratulate Benji on getting into NYU!

Friday, 3/15/02 - Guess what, I'm off AGAIN to NYC. Sorry about the lack of update. I guess I'm a pretty lazy dude. Anyways, I'll see what i can do. I leave at 2 and come back either Aaturday night or sunday.

Friday, 3/1/02 - I'm off to New York City. I won't be back until Saturday night. I'm off to see some Chinese doctor that will help me (with my migraines). Later.

Wednesday, 2/27/02 - And, to quote my last entry's beginning, "And it's been a while again since my last entry. Man, these weeks have been screwey." In fact, things have been more than screwey, and I'm not even sure if I should say what happened. I guess the first thing I should do is create a link for another dream talk with Benji (who, by the way, is the man). Oh, the link is here. It's pretty messed up, to say the least. This time, it's not with any people who I know, who is in Ithaca (I think). You'll see. I'd like to mention that I got 200 blank cd's from office max the other day, courtesy of my mom. I've been debating whether I should actually tell you all about the events and happenings over break until now. I don't know. I guess I might as well, seeing that not many people read this journal anyways. However, please try not to judge me, or somethin to that effect. Let me tell you that this will be somewhat of a morbid story...but perhaps with somewhat of an uplifting ending..? On Friday, February 15, 2002,  I tried to kill myself by OD-ing on drugs. Not any drugs, but my prescription drugs and some other pills like asprin. I even took some pills that belonged to my brother. Don't know what they were called, but what I generally took was cyproheptadine (peryactin), zoloft, and asprin. On Friday night, my parents found out that I was "skipping" school. How that happens is that well, recently, I have extensions and I don't have to be in school until 3rd period every other day (while it's 2nd on other other days). That means that I can leave to go to school later than my parents leave for work. Since I've been feeling pretty depressed, I never felt like going to school. I just always felt like sleeping. What I would do would be to call my self in sick, pretending to be my dad. I would proceed to write a note when I came back from school. (This is such a big loophole in "The System".) The attendance lady didn't know, and the teachers thought everything was legal. Perhaps they were a bit concerned. When my parents called to check up on what was happening, my new calc teacher told my dad that I was absent from school a lot. They didn't know I was depressed at the time. I didn't want them to worry about me and I wanted to try to figure it out myself. Also, I didn't think they would react in a beneficial way to my health. However, It got to the point (friday night) where I couldn't take it anymore, after they yelling and hitting from them. You know, they can make you feel worthless and like total crap sometimes. Anyways, I got pretty darn depressed and I OD-ed on my meds. I even left a note under my pillow. Looking back, it was kind of stupid what I did, but hey, i wasn't exactly in the right mind. Anyways, come Saturday morning, and my dad wakes me up. It is approx 8 in the morning and he wants me to get up and make up all the work that I missed (which in reality, isn't really that much anyways). When I woke up, I was still in a haze. I threw up everything in my stomach on my bed and proceeded to throw up some more in the wc. I don't remember what happened afterwards, till after late Sunday evening. I guess my parents found my note, and my brother told my parents I was depressed. They fed me some ultra strong green tea and fed me some other stuff to get rid of all the toxins. On monday, I went to see a psychoanalyist. She recommended that I should go to the ER and check myself in. She was also pretty commanding towards my mother, who decided to take me to the ER and switch therapists ( a mental note for her mind). After I checked in the hospital, I waited and waited... apparently traces of a pain-killer drug that is found in heroin was found in my urine sample. Sorry to gross you out, I guess i just had to mention it. Anyways, we waited some more and a social worker came and talked to me alone. Apparently, she didn't see me fit to go home, so I stayed at the hospital, while having my blood pressure checked every so often and getting blood samples (big quantities) 2 different times. After getting a doctor to tell my parents to take me to the mental health clinic the next day, I was free to go. I went home and slept. On tues, I went to see a "Psychiatric social worker" also known as, i guess, a therapist. Anyways, i explained what was going on. They recommended that I attend an actual session and then see their doctor (a real psychiatrist) and get some meds if need be. The appointment was for monday. (two days ago). I saw the therapist and we talked some. It was just the introductory type dealie, and nothing else really happened. I'm curious to see where it leads, however. I was then prescribed some meds by the doc (zoloft again, but 200 mg doses this time), and that's what has happened so far. Interesting note: cyproheptadine (peryactin) is supposedly a strange migraine medication. What has happened in the past is that apparently it can counteract anti-depressants. Considering my dosage, it could probably be true. Anyways, I'm back on meds, again, and slowly recovering. For the longest time, I have been debating in my head whether to tell my "virtual audience" about what has happened. The interesting thing is that my parents haven't really told anyone about what has happened to anyone else, except my doctors and therapists (and my grandmother). Perhaps it's all for the best since they don't want to seem like bad parents. Maybe i'm thinking about it all wrong... Anyways, my parents are acting better, in my opinion. What do I mean by that? I guess it means that they aren't always saying how stupid I am, and hitting me, and forcing me to do homework all the time. I have some more freedoms now. Looking back, most likely, my attempt is for a cry for help. I really don't want to think about it too much. Anyways, I guess that's my story. Please don't look down on me or feel sorry for me. Oh, also, if you're some girl who likes me, don't not like me now that you hear this perhaps taboo story. Also, don't freak out and try to do something that you might regret later on (ex: gossip maybe? or i dunno. I guess I just don't want you all to start freaking out and start worrying about me). If you read this please don't look at me differently, or something. I guess what I'm trying to say is that please don't treat me differently now because of what has happened. If you read this, and you feel an urge to talk to me, fine. I dunno... just don't hurt me, is what i guess i'm trying to say here. I'm pretty fragile... but i think i'm getting better. I'm even starting to be goofy again. I owe chia money, and sean owes me a lot of money. (2x as much as i owe chia). I want to find a good paying job so that I can get money and do stuff. I dunno... I also would like to have a ....coughgirlfriendcough, but I don't know if i'm in the right state of mind yet. I think I'm almost there but I think I should wait another week or two. On valentines day, I sent out carnations to some girls. /me blushes now. I dunno, there are a few girls i'm interested in now, and since my parents told me that i can date (they told me this before the almost fateful friday), i thought it would be interesting. I don't know the first thing about dating, so uh, i'm prolly gonna hold of a little bit. I dunno if any girls will go out with me after this ordeal tho since, aren't girls supposed to dig guys with self esteem and confidence and not guys with mental problems? Also, i'm ugly, or I think i am. That's the other thing. I dunno.... I think i'm gonna stop here for today. Victor wants to come over and create a music cd. (no, he doesn't know yet [at least not at the moment when i'm typing this]). I would like to end in the note that i guess i'm kind of glad to be alive. I still have thoughts tho, but i realize now that life is precious and shouldn't be wasted like what I tried to do. And to all the people whose lives will change because of this, i'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. Oh, my parents don't know about this website, and I dunno, i guess i still wouldn't like them to know about it yet. And another thing... I sent my deposit for housing and tuition to Purdue. My parents and i decided that it's not worth waiting for the UC schools and forfeit the guarantee of housing on campus. Don't cry for me Argentina....   :-P

Tuesday, 2/01/02 - And it's been a while again since my last entry. Man, these weeks have been screwey. I took a week off last week. I just didn't feel like going to school. What the heck, why are all these fruit flies in my room? Um, anyways, since I've been sleepin more often, I've gotten some more rapid eye movement activitiy (REM) and I guess they trigger dreams. These dreams that I have are pretty screwed up and generally, are just plain weird. Perhaps I'll have a dream journal on the side. But, that would require work, and stuff, and I'm too lazy right now. :-P. In fact, I haven't even finished my mouselab yet, even though I had a week off. I guess I just didn't feel like it. Maybe I should start on it soon... hm.... Oh, I had a dream that I discussed with Benji, and I have a transcript of it here. I had a dream about 2 different people, and to save the embarassment of them being in my dreams... I *****-ed out their names. Other than that, enjoy, I guess since well, my dream was pretty strange. Benji is the next Freud. Watch out. Oh, and Benji did say that I was self-destructive and that I did hurt my self... such as not sleeping and applying to engineering school. Hm... I dunno... I beg to differ... I guess. Oh, I changed my periods so that I have 1, 7, and 8 free every day and period 2 free odd days. That means that I can go to school late and leave early. Yay! I got my 2nd semester extensions filled out today and booya! Heh, the new stickers are bright green. Ooooooooh. pretty colors. Heh. If anyone has any suggestions or comments please email me at root@thejollycompany.com. Don't forget Benji has his own website now. (some subtle advertisement. Even tho he's not paying me any money :-P) Eh. Benji's an awesome dude. He's one of my best friends. I really should have a little description of people. However, where could I draw the line between public information and private? Heh. Such as Benji going out with all these hot porn star girls. Heh, just kiddin. I dunno, I don't know if people would feel comfortable having some of their profile being readily available on the web. Also, I'm too lazy to ask people. I think I'll mention that I bought carnations to give to some girls during 7th today. :-P I dunno why, I guess I was just in that mood. Either that, or I'm horny. (heh, just kiddin). I dunno, sometimes I'm perverted, and sometimes I'm not. Most of the times i'm not, but it's really strange when I am. I dunno where I'm trying to go with this, and I should probably stop before I make myself look like more of a twisted fool. Not saying that I'm not already... erh....yea. Maybe it's because I like giving things too. I dunno. I'm a messed up little boy. I think I'll end my jounal here. Oh, I think that I should mention that on (darn you fruit flies) New Year's eve, I got to hang out with Bunj, Annie, Kate, Erica, Alex, Leah, and Annie's brother. It was pretty cool. And thank you guys for inviting me. Heh, I dunno, I guess (*S*(#$&@*(&#$(*@ stupid fruit flies!!!!!! I WANNA KILL EM!!!!) it was in the back of my mind, waiting to be voiced.. or somethin. Anyways, I am gonna try to change the format soon, and if anyone has any advice, suggestions, etc. about how I should do this, please contact me. Any tip would be helpful.

Wednesday 1/23/02 - Wow, it's been a while since my last post. My host has been kind of screwey and their support service is really slow. They had server trouble for a while and then they switched passwords on me, and it took 3 emails and half a week of waiting for them to respond. Eh... that's what I get for having to pay only 5 bucks a month, eh? Let me see... a lot has happened since my last post. It is now exam week, and it is already half over. I got accepted into a few colleges already... Purdue University, SUNY Stony Brook, and SUNY Buffalo. Buffalo gave me a $2000 scholarship... ha... like that's really gonna motivate me to go there. It's too close to home. :-P . Anyways, let me see what else is happening... I'm switching to Calc AB... eh... it's probably best if I do good in a lower level class, instead of having a really low grade in BC. What else is new.... I dunno. I have to change the format of this journal somehow. It's getting to be really long, and I need to also figure out how to use a bullitan board... anyways, I think I'll close for now. I have some stuff to do. MOUSE LAB DUE MONDAY!!!!!!! ARGH!!! 100 PAGE PAPER!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!! #&*$^*@&#^&*@()%_@~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*11:30 PM (from now on, I think the * will stand for 2nd entry) - I think I should add some stuff. I just realized recently that I'm slightly obsessive compulsive. Heh. That would explain some things, eh? Victor says that I am majorly, and Benji disagrees. I think I'm slightly. Benji also says that I'm self-destructive, and the only reason I haven't hurt myself is because I am not going through in the correct steps... this also makes sense. I dunno, I'd just like to point that out. If you haven't noticed, I've already changed my domain. You can e-mail me at admin@thejollycompany.com, or even asdlkongaoid@thejollycompany.com. I will receive the email. Isn't that cool? :-P. I just realized recently that I have even more things that are due, such as my FRICKin "Physical Education" paper. I don't understand why they make us write these stupid papers, and it's supposed to be a personal reflective paper... I mean, come on. If I call PE, gym, the teachers get mad. HAHAHA. Isn't that screwed up? I also have all this crap to make up for AP Bio, since I missed a few days of skool. I had to take like a week off because I was off medication and it was pretty screwey. Even my friends agree. My parents had a meeting with my guidance counselor today. I had one yesterday. He knew I was depressed, but he didn't know I didn't tell my parents. He was very surprised. I asked him not to tell, and he reluctantly agreed. I feel that if I tell my parents, they will think it's an excuse and I would not get any more medication. As well, they would probably yell at me more. Without my meds, I get pretty messed up. I'll leave it at that. How do I get my meds without my parents knowing? Good question. Until recently, I've been seeing my doctor by myself. My parents haven't accompanied me. It was for my headaches. I was diagnosed with migraines. Great! Migraines, just what I needed (xtreme sarcasm). Anyways, I told him how I've been feeling depressed for quite a while now (a while= 2-3 years). He proceeded to prescribe me some medication. My parents went to Rite Aid to fill it out for me. They don't know what zoloft is. They think it's for my migraines as well. Anyways, I have had to increase the dosage recently, since 50 mg isn't enough. I am taking around 150 mg now, and even then, I still feel depressed sometimes. Sometimes I take 100, sometimes 150. It depends on how I feel. Back to the story. The most recent time, I scheduled an appointment and my mom came with me. I called the Doc in advance and requested him that he NOT tell my mother (or my father) that I was depressed. (oh btw, I just remembered, Benj also thinks I'm manic depressive, I just remembered that. I dunno, I don't think I have much of an alter ego). I only was able to leave a message, but he did do as I asked. Heh, all the secrecy. I feel that my parents are part of the problem. I just don't want to deal with it right now. That's the main issue. I have so many things to do, and I'm almost a "second semester senior". I'm  not sure what that means exactly, but I guess it means that I can just coast through school (for this year anyways). I think I will end here for today. I have an AP Eng Lang exam tomorrow. By the way, I got into Purdue University, SUNY Stony Brook, and  SUNY Buffalo so far. I'm waiting for the rest. Buffalo gave me a $2000 scholarship inorder to tempt me to go there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... no. If I don't get into UCLA or Berkeley, I'll probably go to Purdue. INDIANA, BABY!!!!!! Man, I really have to change the format of my journal.

Thursday 1/10/02 - Howdy doody. I'm sorry, I've been kind of slacking on the journal and website dealies. I've been busy with my school, and also, I'm pretty lazy. I can't seem to find time to do this stuff. Let me see... what has happend in the past few days... well, I haven't been to school in a little bit cause I feel a bit sick, or I don't feel well enough to handle school. I ran out of zoloft a few days ago, and I'm feeling really strange. ARGH!!!!!!!!! BOINAOGIISDJFOINBOAISPUDOISD FSDPFIOJ SD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Erh... yea. My domain is up and running, and so is Benji's. Check out his pics. I think it's almost time for me to upload some pictures. Man, I found some pretty funny ones, however, some are not appropriate for younger eyes to view. That means you!!! :-P . I went to school on wednesday, and only for periods 1-6. Then I stayed at Chia's. Man, this week has been pretty depressing. I know, it's sad. I should go to school. However, without my drugs, everything feels kind of strange, and I dunno, I just have this strange feeling in my mind that I can't put my finger on. Man, I'm messed up. Hm... since I can't think up of anything else to say, I might as well end here.

Monday, 12/31/01 -> Wednesday, 1/2/02 - Merry New Year!!!!!!!!! I guess I broke my promise that I'd do the thingie by the end of December. Sorry. I've been pretty pissy at my parents lately. Especially today. My parents were yelling at me again for being lazy and not correcting my tests that I get wrong, and since I didn't want to think about it, I put my hands on my eyes, and being the person I am, I tried to ignore them. However, they apparently were really pissy and they got reaaaaaaalllllllly mad. Anyways, I didn't feel too bad, and I got over it by taking some zoloft and sleeping it off. They still got pissy at me again, but I guess I handled it a lot better, cause this time I didn't go through with was I was planning to do. It has takin me three days to write this journal. I started December 31, and then I went to a "party" around 8. Then I didn't start again until Jan 1 in the evening. After getting yelled at, I deciede not to write, but to go directly to sleep. Then it is Wednesday. I went to Chia's till about 7 ish, and then I went to help Alex (fellow band member) with his PC. Mawhahahaha he's a mac-ie and he needed the PC to play Fallout. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! MACS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Come on, you know they do. All it is good for is graphics. Other than that, NOTHING!!!!! HAHAHAH!!!!!!!) Anyways, I got home at about 10:30, and I started doing my homework then. I've been doing it for a while now, and as of this moment, it's 4:08 AM. I should be doing my bio homework, but since I got my own domain name, I have been trying to change things around a bit. Also, I tried to figure out what I need to know to do whatever on my domain, and also to create subdomains. One would be for Benji. I am allowed 2 subdomain names. I wonder who should get the other one... and I also wonder if he or she would give me $$$ and lots of it? :-P. I think I might be asking too much. My domain, is now, http://www.thejollycompany.com and as soon as I come around to it, I shall move all my stuff from here to there. Supposedly. Let me get back to the story that I need to tell. NYC basically sucked. I got new glasses there, and let me thing what else I did there... oh wait, I didn't do anything else but sleep a lot there. Actually, that is not completely true, since I was able to buy some things there. I bought some adjustable, disposable lighters. I bought 4 and it was a buck. Wow, that's cheap. Anyways, I broke every lighter's adjustor thingie and I made it so it would go to the max. Therefore, the flame from the lighter would be really high. My parents think that I smoke since I have all these lighters. They still don't believe that I don't smoke. I'm just a pyro at heart, and I really like to burn stuff. Perhaps it's just a strange feeling that I have where I like to explode things and burn things as well. On that note, everyone should go to Alex's discussion page, located here. Anyways, I responded to a lot of the entries, and you should see the stuff that I wrote. It took me 2 hours to write and thing it all out. Anyways, my host lets me have unlimited webspace, so therefore, I could get a cgi-bin script and create an actual "board". That would be really cool, and it would make everything really cool. Or something or another. Bah. Alex and I could be mods, and we could make it so that you can only respond to the same discussion every 2 days, so that other people can respond. I need to figure out how to do that first. Anyways, I think I've written enough for a while, and seeing that I still have lots of homework to do, I shall have another entry at some other time. Later. Man this was a long entry.

Wednesday, 12/26/01 - Well, I just spent the night at Chia's... and it was kind of boring. At least it was better than staying home and doing nothing, and getting yelled at by my parents. Maria also spent the night at Chia's, and um... yea, I made sure nothing happened... :-P. I dunno, I don't understand their relationship too well. Benji came over for a while and he didn't drink. I drank some stuff, and I got half-drunk again. Darnit, why can't I get fully drunk??? I wanna know what type of drunkard I am (I bet I am a silly drunk). Instead of going to NYC today, I hafta leave tomorrow morning at like 7 in the morning. AIM is acting all crazy right now, and I'm trying to create a few mix cd's to bring along. Damn, I really didn't want to go to NYC. SUX FOR ME!!!!!! Since I can't think up of anything to say, and I am still putting off that character description paragraph, I think I'm gonna end it here. By the way, I'm surprised, but my parents actually gave me $60 for Christmas... I thought that they were not going to give me anything since they were pissed at me, but I guess not. I paid Chia $20. I still owe him $40. I'm waiting till I get money from my job before I pay Chia the rest of the money. I bid thee a good day, and I will have another entry after NYC. UGH!!!!!

Tuesday, 12/25/01 - (technically, I'm writing on Monday, but it's 12:17 AM). Merry Christmas!!! HO HO HO! Um... yeah. Anyways, not right now, but I'll write a long entry saying who is who, and stuff. I just want to say that I might be staying home. My parents want to go to NYC this Wednesday and Thursday (tomorrow, and the day after), but I don't. I just want to stay home and get drunk. Man, what's this obsession of me and getting drunk? Thursday night, I stayed over at Chia's and watched TV all night. I bought some caffene pills and I took one. I was good till like 6 in the evening. I got some cookies from Trev and Arna, and um... since I didn't really have much to give them (since I didn't know they were giving me something) I just gave 'em some caffiene pills each. Yea, I'm a pusher. :-P. I slept from 6 to like 11 in the morning, and then I hung out with Chia, Maria, and then Benji later on. I went home late at night and I slept till 3 in the afternoon. Benji called an hour later for band practice... (Yea, I'm in a band called Launch Octopus. I'll describe that some other time.) We created a song that has to do with SMHC which I have no idea what it means or anything, but uh yea. I partied with Benji till like 9 (and I drank a beer) and then went home to sleep. Today, rather yesterday, I went to Chia's and drank one of his beer. :-P. I think I shouldn'd drink anymore. Beer tastes like crap. Maybe I should take some of my parent's rum that they plan to give away as gifts. Man, if I get to stay home, I'll definitly get drunk. I dunno why I want to, but I just want to, you know, to see how it's like. I understand that alcohol isn't that good for you, but, I dunno... I just wanna try it out. I wonder how I can get out of going to NYC... 

Thursday, 12/20/01 - Man, this has been a strange week. Tomorrow is the last day of school for this year. That's kind of interesting, isn't it? I dropped AP Stats on Monday, and for some strange reason, I feel so much better. My zoloft ran out today, since I've been taking 3x the dose in order to feel at ease and mellow-ish. I got a refill, and it cost 15 bucks, which I don't understand why, since it's a refill. Let's see... I should start out with what happened yesterday. Yesterday, I hung out with Alex for basically the whole day (meaning, the part after school). At first, we just goofed off, and he got fairly hyper off the Venom and Mountain Dew that he drank. After attending bible study, I didn't want to go home. I dunno, but we got to talk about some interesting things, stuff like, why am I here, girls ;-) , the purpose of life, school, and other interesting stuff. It was like 11:20, and I basically told my parents that I was studying AP Bio at some place in Tioga. I guess they bought it, but I don't like lying to my parents. I have to in order to get away from them. I dunno, but Alex helped me look at things in a different perspective, which, in my point of view, was very helpful. Afterwards, he showed me his Counter-Strike skillz, which, I must admit are quite better than mine. Then again, I haven't really played any serious CS since beta 8. Version 1.3 is now available. I used to be quite good, and I 'm tempted to take up CS again, but I'd need to free some hard-drive space first. Eh, we'll see. Oh, this is for any of you people who are stopped by police officers... First, turn on the car lights (the inside ones). Then put your wallet on your lap and then put both hands on the wheel. This is to show the police officer respect, since they don't know if you have a weapon or not. Then, when asked to, roll down your window all the way, and show him your ID when s/he asks you. If s/he asks for registration (for the car), ask him if it's okay to open the glove compartment. This is also curtsey, so that he will be ready if you have a weapon in there or something. When talking to the police officer, try to be humble and honest. Cops don't really want to do anything that bad too you, they just want to protect the 'hood. If s/he says, "Don't interrupt me when I'm talking," just say, "Sorry," and leave it at that. Don't get pissed off or anything. Alex got pulled over for a strange minor traffic violation (they prolly thought he was drunk) and by doing this, the police officer didn't get pissed or anything and didn't give him a ticket. Anyways, Alex told me this and he gave me these tips. (and I saw 'em being used in action) I'm actually writing this for my own benefit, so that I will remember it when I look back on these entries, but hey, if you want, use it as well. It might save you some $$. I'm in a mellow sort of mood, and I've watched a bit of K-PAX, and I decided to update my journal, since JR im-ed me saying the link to here was dead. Anyways, peace, I'm gonna pretend I'm doing homework while finishing the movie, and then I'm gonna study for that AP Bio crap. Mood- mellow. (I took 2 zoloft last night, and 2 this afternoon). I'm not pissed at my parents, but I'm almost positive that something else will pop up so that they will be pissed and make me pissed. (Oh, btw, my parents don't know that I have this journal, or this website, or that I'm going through all these conditions, so I'd appreciate it if you did NOT mention it to my parents.) Ok, now I'm pissed at them again.

Tuesday, 12/18/01 - I am still having problems with my parents. What is their deal? Anyways, I applied to like 11 colleges and bah.... that's all I have to say. Since I was so pissed off on Saturday, I forgot to mention that I got a speeding ticket on Friday. I went to the movies with Chia and Maria, and we saw Vanilla Sky. It was a pretty good movie, and everything was okay then. Later on at night, I sent my brother to IHS to watch some play. Anyways, after I went to Mobil downtown to fill up the tank, I drove off, and soon enough, a policeman stopped me a bit after Purities. Apparently, I was going "55+ in a 30" and "40 - pass on right". That's what it says on the ticket anyways. He said that he was nice to me, and counted it as a minor violation, a "failure 2 obey TCD" (traffic condtrolled devices[what??? a speeding sign is a tcd????!?!]) Anyways, Billy found it funny that the officer wrote "2" on the ticket. I'm scheduled to be on court this Saturday at noon... no, i haven't told my parents yet, and if I can get away with it, I plan not to, just like my parking ticket. Man, this ticket is gonna cost me a bundle, meaning I'll have to work in secret some more. Perhaps the judge will be nice.

Why am I so freakin annoying at school? I try to shut up and stuff, but I still tend to be annoying, and not only that, even though I'm trying so hard not to doze off, I still do. What's even worse is that I snore sometimes, and that makes the teacher even more pissed off. I think that Drix is usually the one who is pissed off the most, and even though Bock doesn't show it, I think he gets pretty pissed off sometimes. Man, today was an awesome day. First period, I learned some stuff, and near the end of class I tried really, really, hard to stay awake, but dozed off for like a minute. Second period, I had gym, and we couldn't play handball because people were fixing the doors. We went into the wrestling room and we watched Episode VI (Star Wars). I decided not to watch and slept for the period. Sean woke me up by dragging me around the floor of the wrestling room, until I woke up (which took a little while). Next was Fractals and Chaos. I dozed off once during one of Drix's boorish lectures and he put me on the spot about some frickin ridiculous question. Bah. I didn't get it right. Not like I ever pay attention in that class. Right afterwards, we went to the comp lab where I dozed off agian. He allowed that, since I already finished my sheet. Next was AP Bio. We had a sub today, and all we were supposed to do was watch movies. I think what I did was put my head in my backpack and fall asleep. I remember having to take my head out during the break. Then I fell asleep again. Near half-way through the period, Sean woke me up, saying that the movie was finished and that we should get food. Sixth and Seventh was free period because I just recently dropped AP Stats (yesterday). AP Eng Lang, all I did was to listen to other people debate. I also played a bit of verbal tennis. What happens at home is a different matter. My parents start getting all pissy and hit me again. Why is it that I can not stay awake for any class except for AP Eng Lang???????????

Saturday, 12/15/01 - I FUCKING hate my parents. I'm sorry for swearing but what the FUCK. As I am writing this, I have just sat through a yell Nian fest, where all my mom did was yell at me, and kick me. What is the deal with her, and why can't she atleast leave me alone for a few days. On Thursday, I got a letter from Cornell which basically said that you suck and that we don't want you here. It probably didn't help that I applied to the engineering school. I called em up and they said i didn't get in because i got a C in ap chem, and ap history. They also said that if i applied to some other school, such as arts and science, that i would have gotten in. Later, they said that they could give me an informal guarentee transfer, only if i call em up after i figure out what college i'm gonna attend. Anyways, on thursday, my parents yelled at me, and i almost decided to end it all. Perhaps it was luck, but Victor came over and helped me sort this out. However, as of right now, i feel that option tempting me again. I most likely won't, but i mean, what the fuck is up with my parents. They are threating to do all this stuff, like kick me out of the house and stuff. I am so willing to take that offer, but i would have no place to go, and it wouldn't be nice to ask someone to house me or anything. I also have no money, considering the fact that i don't have a job, and that would suck. I also need to figure out a way to pay my way through college, since my parents aren't gonna help me out in that department because they said if i don't get into cornell, then i get nothing. I didn't even know that till half an hour ago. I can't face anyone, i'm too ashamed, and i feel like total crap. I think i'm gonna end this journal entry with a quote from shakespeare. "O happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die."

Entry at the evening- I'm feeling a lot better now. Don't worry about me. The zoloft is really kicking in. I don't want to think about what would happen if I wasn't on it. I have a job filling pointless data onto the computer, and i'm making myself some serious cash. Oh. btw, i joined a new fxp group called WizzFXP. Yay. These people have more stuff than SMB did. I'm just writing this so that you won't feel sorry for me. Until next entry, peace.

Thursday, 12/13/01 - FUCK IT ALL.

Monday, 12/10/01 - Hey! Check it, I'm updating only 4 days following the previous entry. Friday is judgement day. The early decision applications are recieved by the potential Cornelians. OOOOO MAN. I'm so antsy. I want to know, then again I'd rather not. I paid off my parking violation today, and then spent the rest of the evening with Chia and Maria. I fell asleep for a couple of hours at his house. Bach is still pissed at me, and I also still think school sucks. I got home at around 8 tonight, and I basically burned like 7 cds. Man, I'm a pyro. Heh, even though my fxp group died, I still can burn stuff. I'm haveing lots of fun with my camera, and um yea. I'll get back to on Friday, to tell you if I got in or not, or sometime during the week just for updates and stuff. I have lots of pics, but I'm too lazy to upload them right now. Maybe during the weekend. Don't worry, I still haven't forgotten that promise that I made last entry. It will be a while before I can fulfil that promise tho. Stats test tomorrow.
Mood: eh. I'd rather stay home and play computer games than go to school.

Thursday, 12/06/01 - It's a Thursday. Bah. I really want it to be a Friday, so I can forget about school and whatnot. Perhaps it's because I've come to think that almost all my teachers hate me. Bock hates me because I'm not doing that well on quizzes and that I op to take the quiz at later dates (i've only done this like 4 times) and also the fact that I'm not doing the homework. Perhaps I should start studying and doing stuff for his class. Next, comes Mr. Drix. He hates me because I fall asleep in his class, and I was absent from his class a lot in the mid marking period of the first quarter. I was doing my early decision stuff for Cornell, and so, I missed some school. Also, I was sick with some kind of stomach bug as well, which was strange, and I stayed home for that as well. Next comes Mr. Craine. He hates me because I fall asleep in his class like EVERY DAY. Also, I don't do the homework, and he knows it. Today, Mike and I fell asleep, he noticed after a while, and he got pissed at both of us. Craine knows that I am a good student, but he also knows that I'm slackin off to the Xtreme. Eh. All I need is to get accepted to Cornell early decision. Then it's all coasting from there on. Oh, if you want to read my essays, click HERE. I also got the mice pics up, and if you don't feel like scrolling down to access it, click HERE. I think I'm gonna make a link area soon, because I hafta link to my friend Alex's website, since he linked me. Check out his discussions page. On that note, I just got my scanner working again, and I also got a digital camera. It's a Nikon COOLPIX 995. Retail: 800 bucks. Eh. My parents got some extremely good deal, and it was like 600 bucks. All I know is that it's basically mine, since no one else knows how to use the camera. ;-P. Expect to see some pretty weird images soon. I am writing this entry now, even though I have a Calc test tomorrow (which i opted to take tomorrow instead of today (which is why he got pissed)) and I also have a Stats task I need to write up. Other than that... yea. Benji keeps on tellin me to update my journal. I would, except for the fact that fortunecity has had some MAJOR problems with their ftp site uploading, and it just started working again this evening. Can you say, MASS UPLOAD? Hm... I wonder who else besides Benji reads this crap that I post. This is a good way to express my feelings instead of becoming more and more um... coughdepressedcough. Yea, I take zoloft. Anyways, that'll be saved for another entry. I promise, I'll write an entry this month describing in more depth of who is who. The ACT 3 cd of Kareshi Kanojyo no Jijou came about a week and a half ago. I just bought ACT 1 Music CD and all the Manga volumes, save 10, and that will cost me a hefty 100 bucks. I'm paying Chia back slowly, but surely. That's it for now. There's so much more I could write about, but I hafta update some other stuff, and this is one heck of an entry.

Sunday, 12/02/01- It's December!!!!!!!!!! YAY! Uh... yea. Anyways, Benj told me to update my journal today. Since, seeing that I have nothing better to do, I might as well. Let's see... this week was somewhat of a drag compared to last week. But of course, it has to be compared to the many days of no school yesterday. Let's see... friday, Benji came over, and we had a bit o fun. He was gettin read to do his vid of Maria and he needed some envelopes for props. He stayed and we watched the One for a little bit. I'm in an fxp group. For those of you who don't know.... oh well. I found out that my group closed permanently today, and I'm kinda pissed. They set up a new one, but I don't know if i can join again. Eh. We'll see. Saturday night, I went to Maria's to apparently celebrate Chia's birthday (which is today). I didn't know that until Benji told me today. When I went to Chia's after going to Maria's I got a parking ticket for parking in "private property". This blows. It's 15 bucks, but the person didn't have to frickin call the cops. Chia volunteered to pay half, but i'm only ask him to pay 5. I owe Chia soooooo much money. (That's because I'm finding all these good deals on ebay, and I, seeing that the opportunity might pass away, buy the stuff.) Actually, I might not owe him that much, if this person in Cali doesn't send the stuff, then it's a great deal less. Today, I went to my Calculus study group, and I learned some things. Yay. I guess this shall be the end to my entry today.

Tuesday, 11/27/01- Today is my brother's birthday. He's now 14 years old, and can legally drink. Oh wait. Nevermind. Mawhahahahaha. It's been a week since I last updated this journal and I had some pretty interesting events that I experienced during the holidays. I prolly should have written them down as they came along. Let's see.... Thanksgiving sucked, but when Benji invited me to go to Alex's for a while, I got half drunk and played some GTA 3. w00T! Hm... Friday, I hung out with Chia, Maria, and Vera. We watched some movies and uh... yea that was it. Saturday was just plain boring, as was Sunday. Monday was the first day of school in like 5 days, and was really boring. Today I had an AP Bio test, and it was hard. After school (after the clubs and such), I went to my brother's godgrandparents' house (with my parents) and we had sort of a celebration for Jesse's birthday. One of these days, I'll have to have an entry where I just describe who is who. I want my Kareshi Kanojyo no Jijyo stuff (chi-chi-chi-CHIA!  :-P   ).

Tuesday, 11/20/01-(*NOTE: BEFORE YOU READ THIS ENTRY, DO NOT READ THE AREA THAT IS UNDERLINED UNLESS YOU HAVE A STRONG HEART, AND CAN BARE TO READ ABOUT MICE DISSECTION  (it's not too bad) [I made it somewhat crude on purpose, I have to share it with someone... :-P]) Today, I dissected mice. The initial cut was the most disturbing one, since the mice looked so nice and might I say, somewhat cute. They were killed by using CO2 the period before, and the mice were still "ripe" as one might call it. When I started cutting, there was some blood that came out, and then after sticking needles into the body to hold the skin, I started to remove some of it's organs. After removing the heart and massing it, I couldn't go on anymore. The stench and the semi-emotional attachment to the mice got to me. I had to stop. Afterwards, I passed my mice to Arna and Trevor, and they removed the intestines, stomach, liver, and kidneys. I had to label every part using stickers and arrange them in a way so that they could be photographed easily. If you are really brave, you'll click HERE to see the pictures of the mice all dissected and stuff. (*it's not up yet, but it will be within a few days). Other than that, I went to Benji's house and we burned the house down. Or not. We just hang out and stuff. It is now break, and I will have until Sunday free! Yay. I won the bids for the Kareshi Kanojyo no Jijou VCD's and manga books. Now if only Chia could send the checks to the corresponding peoples...(I'll talk about why Chia is sending them the checks and not me, but not now). I want the stuff SO bad. Anyways, that's my entry for today, and my mood right now is somewhat mellow. I am worried all the time tho, about school, college, etc. and I guess it's not bothering me too much right now.

Friday, 11/16/01- Oh boy oh boy, I now have almost 300 blank cd's that I have available for the purposes of burning stuff on em. Oh boy. If you can, get to Staples and Office Max ASAP because there won't be many spindles left. (Oh, I forgot to mention that if you buy them now, you can get a rebate, and get most of what you paid back into your wallet [or purse]) (I think I should get some money from Staples and Office Max, I just promoted their store, somewhat). I am a broke fool now, but that's okay because I have many, many CD's! I'll get the money back in like 6 weeks anyways. Hmmm.... should I add that school SUX? NO? OK. I finished the Kareshi Kanojo No Jijou series, and man, I must say that it is a depressing series. It's mad good tho. The files that I received are kind of crappy, but I'm trying to buy the VCD series on ebay. Wish me luck. The series has made me sad though. I can't explain it, you'll hafta see the series for yourself and then you'll understand (maybe). I'm on a buying frenzy. Heh. My mood today, earlier was kinda depressed and tired. Now, I'm better.

Sunday, 11/11/01- Yesterday, was my birthday. I'm another year older. Whoope. Instead of having a party yesterday, which I could have done, I opted to have 50 bucks instead. (Hm.... money or party.... MONEY!). I need money real bad, cause I need blank CD-R's. I turned in my Cornell University undergraduate application, and surprisingly enough, my Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou CDs came in the mail from this girl I know in Australia. I stayed at Victor's house a while, and he got his mom to buy a cake for me. I was amazed. When I got home later on, I wanted to sleep until today, however, my parents threw a big fit for no reason. What the frick. For those of you who don't know, I don't usually get much sleep (there are reasons behind this, but I won't share it in this entry). Anyways, I was really depressed last night, and I was happy when I heard my parents are going away today. Right after church, they are leaving for New York City, to visit my grandmother. I would go.. but... I have a Calculus project that I haven't finished yet, and I wouldn't miss an opportunity to stay home withOUT my parents around. I am gonna try and throw a party today. Maybe.

Saturday, 11/03/01- This, unbelievably, is my second entry. Wow, as I look back, a fair amount has happened since I last wrote, and I would like to tell them to you. However, since today was the day that I updated my website, and did some other stuff to it, there's not really much time for me to do much of anything else. Um, yeah. I was going to ramble somewhat about www.livejournal.com, but I already did that in the intro. I took the SAT II 's today (Writing and Mathematics IIC). I then fooled around for a while, and until the evening, I was doing my ap bio extra credit summaries. However, I keep on getting distracted. Anyways, it is getting late, so i am going to sign off, upload my work, take my drugs (prescription drugs, mind you, not illegal, and if you really want to know what they are called, they are zyrtec, amitripiyline, cyproheptadine, and propranolol)
Mood: Eh.

Sunday, 9/24/01- The first entry. As I am writing this, I know that I shouldn't be. I have a lot of work to do, and I'll probably stay up most of the night doing it. When searching for my name (because I was bored), I came across David's homepage. I had long forgotten the url. Anyways, when seeing that he didn't have anyone put a link to his site, I decided to change that. Below is the link to his site. If you are interested in anime, and just plain craziness :-) visit his site. That's David for you. Anyways, this is probably just gonna be a temporary link until I reorganize this messy site, just like my messy room, and my messy life. Bah!